1
00:00:02,757 --> 00:00:06,757
Subtitles by 

2
00:00:11,703 --> 00:00:14,770
<i>Come on, it's just a word.</i>

3
00:00:14,803 --> 00:00:16,602
<i>Say it, already.</i>

4
00:00:16,637 --> 00:00:17,737
Alright, you got this.

5
00:00:21,837 --> 00:00:27,168
I want your hot, throbbing...

6
00:00:27,202 --> 00:00:28,603
Ugh.

7
00:00:28,637 --> 00:00:31,268
Uh-uh. No. Gross.

8
00:00:31,302 --> 00:00:32,235
And painful.

9
00:00:32,268 --> 00:00:34,603
Who would ask for hot,
throbbing anything?

10
00:00:34,637 --> 00:00:36,302
Throbbing is what happens
to your finger

11
00:00:36,335 --> 00:00:37,902
when you slam it
in the car door.

12
00:00:39,435 --> 00:00:40,769
I want it now.

13
00:00:40,802 --> 00:00:44,268
Your hot, throbbing...

14
00:00:47,602 --> 00:00:49,936
Ok.

15
00:00:51,836 --> 00:00:52,969
Give it to me.

16
00:00:53,003 --> 00:00:58,902
And by "it", I mean I want
your hot, throbbing... nope!

17
00:00:58,936 --> 00:00:59,736
No!

18
00:00:59,769 --> 00:01:01,736
Not at all convincing!

19
00:01:01,769 --> 00:01:03,267
God, Luce, it's a word.

20
00:01:03,301 --> 00:01:05,334
It's a word,
just say it already.

21
00:01:05,869 --> 00:01:06,836
Alright.

22
00:01:11,969 --> 00:01:15,534
I want your hot, throbbing...

23
00:01:17,602 --> 00:01:18,669
For the love of god!

24
00:01:18,702 --> 00:01:21,468
Cock! Cock! Cock!

25
00:01:21,501 --> 00:01:22,602
Cock! Cock!

26
00:01:22,636 --> 00:01:24,134
Cock!

27
00:01:28,702 --> 00:01:34,601
Oh... um, my friend has this
farm and there's this rooster.

28
00:01:34,635 --> 00:01:35,901
Troublemaker.

29
00:01:40,201 --> 00:01:41,401
Alright.

30
00:01:41,434 --> 00:01:46,167
Well, that is a... sentence
that's just never gonna happen.

31
00:04:14,398 --> 00:04:16,498
<i>Wait, what's he doing
with his hand?</i>

32
00:04:16,531 --> 00:04:18,263
<i>That actually feels good.</i>

33
00:04:18,297 --> 00:04:20,163
<i>So that was an accident.</i>

34
00:04:20,197 --> 00:04:22,230
You're so... good to me.

35
00:04:25,531 --> 00:04:26,163
Hey.

36
00:04:26,197 --> 00:04:26,765
Hmm?

37
00:04:26,798 --> 00:04:27,632
Are we good?

38
00:04:27,665 --> 00:04:28,297
Yeah.

39
00:04:28,330 --> 00:04:28,831
You like that?

40
00:04:28,864 --> 00:04:29,365
Ok. Good.

41
00:04:29,398 --> 00:04:32,498
<i>Ok, sexy thoughts.</i>

42
00:04:32,531 --> 00:04:35,931
<i>A cabana on a hot,
tropical beach.</i>

43
00:04:35,964 --> 00:04:37,163
<i>I'm getting a massage,</i>

44
00:04:37,197 --> 00:04:42,530
<i>which suddenly turns into
spontaneous, unbridled sex.</i>

45
00:04:42,564 --> 00:04:43,864
<i>With Steve Carell.</i>

46
00:04:43,897 --> 00:04:46,864
<i>Only like in his newer movies,
with silver hair.</i>

47
00:04:46,897 --> 00:04:48,197
Yes!

48
00:04:48,230 --> 00:04:48,764
Yes!

49
00:04:48,797 --> 00:04:49,697
I'm coming!

50
00:04:49,731 --> 00:04:50,864
Yes!

51
00:04:50,897 --> 00:04:52,263
Wheat-free waffles!

52
00:04:52,297 --> 00:04:54,263
<i>Shit, did I just say
that out loud?</i>

53
00:04:54,296 --> 00:04:55,697
Huh?

54
00:04:55,731 --> 00:04:56,864
Sorry.

55
00:04:56,897 --> 00:04:57,764
Just a second.

56
00:04:59,296 --> 00:05:00,797
That was what I forgot
at the store.

57
00:05:00,831 --> 00:05:02,697
I couldn't remember all day.

58
00:05:04,364 --> 00:05:05,764
No, no, no, no.

59
00:05:05,797 --> 00:05:06,464
It's good.

60
00:05:06,497 --> 00:05:08,897
My mind is completely free.

61
00:05:09,196 --> 00:05:10,864
I'm ready now.

62
00:05:13,631 --> 00:05:16,863
Yeah... I don't think you are.

63
00:05:27,229 --> 00:05:29,430
We should get a ceiling fan.

64
00:05:30,696 --> 00:05:32,229
Hey, what're you doing?

65
00:05:32,830 --> 00:05:34,730
No-don't mess up my lists.

66
00:05:34,763 --> 00:05:35,696
Why?

67
00:05:35,730 --> 00:05:37,330
It's not like you ever finish
any of them.

68
00:05:37,363 --> 00:05:38,162
That is not true.

69
00:05:38,196 --> 00:05:39,563
Just because you're
angry, don't-

70
00:05:39,596 --> 00:05:40,396
Ok, look.

71
00:05:40,429 --> 00:05:42,296
Most women, during sex,
you know,

72
00:05:42,329 --> 00:05:44,463
they say things like...

73
00:05:44,496 --> 00:05:47,195
I don't-like, "yes, yes,
give it to me good".

74
00:05:47,228 --> 00:05:50,496
Who says that?

75
00:05:50,529 --> 00:05:51,363
People.

76
00:05:51,396 --> 00:05:52,896
People who you know?

77
00:05:52,930 --> 00:05:54,796
You honestly want me
to yell out,

78
00:05:54,830 --> 00:05:56,763
"Yes, yes, give it to me good"?

79
00:05:56,796 --> 00:06:00,195
Well, it would be better
than "wheat-free waffles".

80
00:06:00,228 --> 00:06:03,262
Why don't you just admit
that you're not into sex?

81
00:06:03,296 --> 00:06:05,730
I'm so not not into sex.

82
00:06:05,762 --> 00:06:07,862
You didn't even take off
your pyjamas!

83
00:06:07,895 --> 00:06:10,195
Yeah, well, they're comfortable!

84
00:06:10,762 --> 00:06:11,596
What're you doing?

85
00:06:11,629 --> 00:06:12,895
You gotta
be kidding me.

86
00:06:12,929 --> 00:06:15,862
I have work to do.

87
00:06:15,895 --> 00:06:16,562
I'm on a deadline.

88
00:06:16,595 --> 00:06:18,829
You work in the garage, alright?

89
00:06:18,862 --> 00:06:21,363
Testing video games!

90
00:06:24,662 --> 00:06:26,262
Don't judge me.

91
00:06:31,762 --> 00:06:33,328
Sorry, Mr. Bach.

92
00:06:33,362 --> 00:06:39,127
I need something with
a little more spirit.

93
00:06:43,729 --> 00:06:45,194
Great.

94
00:06:46,228 --> 00:06:47,528
Where is my cord?

95
00:07:11,794 --> 00:07:14,628
Oh my god, he's a regular.

96
00:07:18,794 --> 00:07:21,427
Don't stop!

97
00:07:21,461 --> 00:07:27,761
Oh my-oh my... that
is a lot of vagina.

98
00:07:27,794 --> 00:07:30,761
<i>Yes, yes, give it to me good!</i>

99
00:07:30,794 --> 00:07:34,661
Oh my god, did she really
just say that?

100
00:07:36,461 --> 00:07:38,160
Thank you, sweetie.

101
00:07:39,394 --> 00:07:40,294
I thought you were evolved.

102
00:07:40,327 --> 00:07:43,227
We met at a film festival,
for god's sake!

103
00:07:43,260 --> 00:07:44,361
What're you talking about?

104
00:07:44,394 --> 00:07:48,160
What I'm talking about is that.

105
00:07:48,194 --> 00:07:50,693
What is that?

106
00:07:50,727 --> 00:07:52,294
I don't know, a girl?

107
00:07:52,327 --> 00:07:53,194
No.

108
00:07:53,227 --> 00:07:54,194
I'm a girl.

109
00:07:54,227 --> 00:07:55,593
That is a vixen.

110
00:07:55,627 --> 00:07:57,227
Whatever.

111
00:07:57,260 --> 00:07:58,393
Excuse me?

112
00:07:58,426 --> 00:07:59,760
What, I'm not enough?

113
00:07:59,793 --> 00:08:00,760
Look, ok, yeah.

114
00:08:00,793 --> 00:08:03,860
I'm sorry you're upset,
but you kinda have this,

115
00:08:03,893 --> 00:08:08,259
like, irrational fear of
intimacy or anything

116
00:08:08,293 --> 00:08:09,893
that can't be put on a list.

117
00:08:09,927 --> 00:08:12,293
You are talking sensuality to me
as you are sitting there

118
00:08:12,326 --> 00:08:14,593
hacking heads off?

119
00:08:14,627 --> 00:08:15,693
Oh, is this funny to you?

120
00:08:15,727 --> 00:08:17,293
Really?

121
00:08:20,526 --> 00:08:22,627
Since when are you
a porn person?

122
00:08:22,660 --> 00:08:27,560
Well, I'm a guy,
so since always.

123
00:08:30,393 --> 00:08:31,826
Oh, see, that's bullshit.

124
00:08:31,859 --> 00:08:33,859
I just got killed
by crossfire again.

125
00:08:33,892 --> 00:08:35,726
How are you being so
nonchalant about this?

126
00:08:35,759 --> 00:08:36,659
In this day in age,

127
00:08:36,692 --> 00:08:38,360
when women are finally
standing up to men

128
00:08:38,393 --> 00:08:40,226
who use sex as a tool
of oppression, you're-

129
00:08:40,259 --> 00:08:42,592
Woah, woah,
woah, woah, woah!

130
00:08:42,626 --> 00:08:44,892
I'm not oppressing anyone, ok?

131
00:08:44,926 --> 00:08:48,726
They put it out there,
guys pay for it, and girls,

132
00:08:48,759 --> 00:08:50,659
everyone's happy.

133
00:08:50,692 --> 00:08:53,692
Have... have you ever watched
a porn film?

134
00:08:53,726 --> 00:08:55,359
I think I just saw plenty,

135
00:08:55,392 --> 00:08:57,692
and I hardly think
that the word film applies,

136
00:08:57,726 --> 00:09:00,626
not when it degrades
the entire female species.

137
00:09:00,659 --> 00:09:03,225
Yeah, see, I don't think so.

138
00:09:03,258 --> 00:09:05,292
I think it's just a business.

139
00:09:05,325 --> 00:09:06,325
Oh.

140
00:09:06,359 --> 00:09:07,425
Oh, ok. I see.

141
00:09:07,459 --> 00:09:10,225
So it's just a collection of
highly-skilled workers

142
00:09:10,258 --> 00:09:11,592
providing a service.

143
00:09:11,626 --> 00:09:12,692
Yeah, exactly.

144
00:09:12,725 --> 00:09:16,725
And the best are banking
millions and the rest are

145
00:09:16,758 --> 00:09:22,725
compensated really well
for their... artistry.

146
00:09:22,758 --> 00:09:24,158
Artistry?

147
00:09:24,192 --> 00:09:25,591
Yeah.

148
00:09:25,625 --> 00:09:27,225
Mmmhmm. Yeah. Yes.

149
00:09:27,258 --> 00:09:29,558
It's uh, it's kinda like you
with your violin.

150
00:09:29,591 --> 00:09:30,524
Right?

151
00:09:30,558 --> 00:09:31,658
Is it so hard for you
to understand that,

152
00:09:31,691 --> 00:09:36,158
you know, this is how some
people express themselves?

153
00:09:36,191 --> 00:09:38,591
What I can't believe is that
you are attempting

154
00:09:38,625 --> 00:09:43,558
to draw a parallel
between what I do and this.

155
00:09:43,591 --> 00:09:45,758
That's because
you're pornophobic.

156
00:09:45,791 --> 00:09:47,257
That's not even a word.

157
00:09:47,291 --> 00:09:49,191
You know, how uptight you are,

158
00:09:49,224 --> 00:09:51,758
it's kinda like your
whole life problem.

159
00:09:51,791 --> 00:09:53,558
No, even words are
too much for you.

160
00:09:53,591 --> 00:09:54,191
We're done.

161
00:09:54,224 --> 00:09:55,758
Wait, no, we're not done.

162
00:09:55,790 --> 00:09:56,691
Lucy.

163
00:09:56,725 --> 00:09:57,524
Come here.

164
00:09:57,558 --> 00:09:58,458
Ow, Jesus. Come on.

165
00:09:58,491 --> 00:09:59,191
Ugh.

166
00:09:59,224 --> 00:09:59,724
Lucy, come back.

167
00:09:59,757 --> 00:10:00,658
Hey! Wait!

168
00:10:00,690 --> 00:10:03,291
Just try saying something racy.

169
00:10:03,324 --> 00:10:04,092
Like what?

170
00:10:04,124 --> 00:10:06,757
Like, I don't know,
like... use

171
00:10:06,790 --> 00:10:09,790
"hot, throbbing cock"
convincingly in a sentence.

172
00:10:09,824 --> 00:10:11,391
Why would anyone do that?

173
00:10:11,424 --> 00:10:13,358
And by the way, since when
do we spy on each other?

174
00:10:13,390 --> 00:10:14,224
I mean, spying?

175
00:10:14,257 --> 00:10:14,757
That's not cool.

176
00:10:14,790 --> 00:10:16,590
I wasn't spying!

177
00:10:16,624 --> 00:10:18,557
And I don't know
who you are anymore.

178
00:10:18,590 --> 00:10:21,256
Yeah, well I don't know
you worse!

179
00:10:22,690 --> 00:10:25,457
Well, I'm not gonna compete
with all of that.

180
00:10:25,490 --> 00:10:28,223
So... so you need to decide.

181
00:10:28,256 --> 00:10:30,590
It's me or the porn!

182
00:10:33,457 --> 00:10:34,357
Really?

183
00:10:34,390 --> 00:10:36,690
That's what you consider
an essential item?

184
00:10:36,724 --> 00:10:38,856
He's autographed.

185
00:10:39,889 --> 00:10:41,390
Come on, bud.

186
00:10:41,423 --> 00:10:43,590
Don't-don't crease
and don't break.

187
00:10:43,624 --> 00:10:46,156
Alright, it's just
you and me now.

188
00:10:58,290 --> 00:11:00,223
I hope you get that stick
out of your ass!

189
00:11:00,256 --> 00:11:01,356
Why?

190
00:11:01,389 --> 00:11:03,556
So you can use it
on yourself?!

191
00:11:08,456 --> 00:11:09,255
Hi, Mr. Glassell.

192
00:11:09,289 --> 00:11:10,522
Good morning.

193
00:11:10,556 --> 00:11:12,456
It was.

194
00:11:18,656 --> 00:11:19,322
<i>Where are you?</i>

195
00:11:19,356 --> 00:11:19,856
<i>You're late.</i>

196
00:11:19,889 --> 00:11:20,856
<i>You're never late.</i>

197
00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:21,656
<i>I'm worried.</i>

198
00:11:21,689 --> 00:11:23,489
<i>Should I be worried?</i>

199
00:11:31,755 --> 00:11:32,422
I'm coming.

200
00:11:32,456 --> 00:11:33,556
Sorry.

201
00:11:36,855 --> 00:11:38,555
Ok, so sorry.

202
00:11:39,389 --> 00:11:40,588
Where have you been?

203
00:11:40,622 --> 00:11:42,189
The bride's about
to start trotting up.

204
00:11:42,222 --> 00:11:43,389
Sorry.

205
00:11:44,488 --> 00:11:45,255
A bride on a horse.

206
00:11:45,289 --> 00:11:46,455
What could go wrong?

207
00:11:47,222 --> 00:11:48,488
Play.

208
00:12:16,588 --> 00:12:18,355
Hello there, Mr. Best Man.

209
00:12:18,955 --> 00:12:20,421
Oh, no, that's actually
my friend Grant.

210
00:12:20,455 --> 00:12:22,388
I think he's just a groomsman.

211
00:12:25,488 --> 00:12:27,388
Matrimony.

212
00:12:28,955 --> 00:12:31,388
The commemoration of
an unshakable bond.

213
00:12:33,955 --> 00:12:35,721
Oh, dear me.

214
00:12:35,754 --> 00:12:38,454
Oh my-oh my god.

215
00:12:38,487 --> 00:12:39,587
Yeah, no, this wedding
is awesome.

216
00:12:39,621 --> 00:12:40,687
That could not
have been the plan.

217
00:12:42,888 --> 00:12:43,922
Oh gosh.

218
00:12:46,487 --> 00:12:47,687
<i>Is that horse poo?</i>

219
00:12:47,721 --> 00:12:49,120
<i>God, it smells.</i>

220
00:12:50,554 --> 00:12:51,721
Pretend it's not there.

221
00:12:52,253 --> 00:12:55,754
Oh, she's gonna remember
this day, isn't she?

222
00:12:55,787 --> 00:12:57,621
You wanted the horse, ok?

223
00:12:57,654 --> 00:13:00,187
Well, if she cancels she still
has to pay us, right?

224
00:13:00,220 --> 00:13:01,854
Yes, especially because it was
Grant who referred us

225
00:13:01,887 --> 00:13:03,120
for the job.

226
00:13:03,153 --> 00:13:05,554
I just-I'm sorry, I can't get
over how he is so good-looking

227
00:13:05,587 --> 00:13:07,287
and you never told me about him.

228
00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:08,587
You don't date actual adults.

229
00:13:08,620 --> 00:13:09,554
Kale?

230
00:13:09,586 --> 00:13:10,753
He's an adult.

231
00:13:10,786 --> 00:13:12,753
He picks you up on a skateboard.

232
00:13:12,786 --> 00:13:13,620
It's ok, everyone.

233
00:13:13,653 --> 00:13:14,653
I'm ok.

234
00:13:14,921 --> 00:13:16,486
Why are you giving my dude
such a hard

235
00:13:16,519 --> 00:13:17,419
time when this one over here,

236
00:13:17,453 --> 00:13:20,320
she's sleeping on Captain
America sheets.

237
00:13:21,453 --> 00:13:22,287
Lucy, are you alright?

238
00:13:22,319 --> 00:13:22,821
Are you crying?

239
00:13:22,854 --> 00:13:23,753
I was just kidding.

240
00:13:23,786 --> 00:13:26,653
Yeah, it was just a joke
about the sheets.

241
00:13:26,954 --> 00:13:28,453
Jeff left me.

242
00:13:29,286 --> 00:13:30,720
He moved out.

243
00:13:31,620 --> 00:13:33,419
<i>Are you ok?</i>

244
00:13:33,453 --> 00:13:35,386
I'm so sorry, Luce,
that's terrible.

245
00:13:43,386 --> 00:13:44,753
Ok, now.

246
00:13:44,787 --> 00:13:45,720
Where were we?

247
00:13:45,753 --> 00:13:47,386
We're going to get married now.

248
00:13:47,419 --> 00:13:49,219
Yeah.

249
00:13:57,519 --> 00:13:59,719
I don't know,
it's all such a blur.

250
00:13:59,752 --> 00:14:00,619
Actually, no.

251
00:14:00,652 --> 00:14:02,353
It started while
we were having sex, and-

252
00:14:02,386 --> 00:14:03,920
Ok.

253
00:14:03,953 --> 00:14:06,485
Is that why you guys fought?

254
00:14:06,518 --> 00:14:09,485
I remembered an item
off of my grocery list, so-

255
00:14:09,518 --> 00:14:11,152
Oh, honey.

256
00:14:11,186 --> 00:14:13,318
How do you expect to survive
marriage week after week,

257
00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:14,518
year after year?

258
00:14:14,552 --> 00:14:19,585
Sex with the same person in
the same order for 27 years.

259
00:14:19,619 --> 00:14:21,719
Well, until you find yourself
one day dressing up for the guy

260
00:14:21,753 --> 00:14:23,719
who sprays for bugs.

261
00:14:23,753 --> 00:14:25,585
Well, how do you expect
to survive all that

262
00:14:25,619 --> 00:14:26,786
if you can't focus now?

263
00:14:26,820 --> 00:14:31,518
I might have focus issues
but he is into porn, alright?

264
00:14:31,552 --> 00:14:32,485
It's disgusting!

265
00:14:32,518 --> 00:14:35,385
It was all over his computer,
he is totally-

266
00:14:35,418 --> 00:14:36,685
A man?

267
00:14:36,718 --> 00:14:39,418
All men look at dirty pictures,
married or not.

268
00:14:39,452 --> 00:14:41,418
It's-it's how they maintain
their vigour.

269
00:14:41,452 --> 00:14:42,251
Right, Paul?

270
00:14:42,285 --> 00:14:43,318
Well, it's-

271
00:14:43,352 --> 00:14:45,452
When men start declining
sexually by the age of 18.

272
00:14:45,485 --> 00:14:47,452
Once they hit 30
it's a ski slope.

273
00:14:47,484 --> 00:14:49,151
I beg your pardon.

274
00:14:49,185 --> 00:14:50,584
Except for Paul.

275
00:14:50,618 --> 00:14:52,285
Who is, I'm sure,
a sexual wonder.

276
00:14:52,318 --> 00:14:54,151
Didn't your girlfriend leave
you for a woman, though?

277
00:14:54,185 --> 00:14:54,986
Ok, easy.

278
00:14:55,019 --> 00:14:56,618
Wait, does this mean
you have porn?

279
00:14:56,651 --> 00:14:57,185
Hmm?

280
00:14:57,218 --> 00:14:58,451
And go to strip clubs?

281
00:14:58,484 --> 00:14:59,451
No, I do not go
to strip clubs.

282
00:14:59,484 --> 00:15:00,451
Ever?

283
00:15:00,484 --> 00:15:01,719
I have, but it's not like I do.

284
00:15:01,752 --> 00:15:03,317
Do you use the internet?

285
00:15:03,351 --> 00:15:03,885
Define "use".

286
00:15:03,919 --> 00:15:04,719
What about prostitutes?

287
00:15:04,752 --> 00:15:05,785
No, not the ones
who do it for crack.

288
00:15:05,819 --> 00:15:08,317
I mean like the ones you go
to that thing in Vegas

289
00:15:08,351 --> 00:15:09,351
that I've seen on HBO.

290
00:15:09,384 --> 00:15:10,284
Do you know what?
I'm out.

291
00:15:10,317 --> 00:15:11,150
I knew it.

292
00:15:11,184 --> 00:15:12,317
Hello.

293
00:15:12,351 --> 00:15:13,719
Ask me about sex.

294
00:15:13,752 --> 00:15:15,351
I'm right here.

295
00:15:15,384 --> 00:15:16,284
No.

296
00:15:16,317 --> 00:15:17,618
Your enthusiasm is really
un-relatable.

297
00:15:17,651 --> 00:15:18,484
Oh, come on.

298
00:15:18,517 --> 00:15:20,417
I got this whole library
of cliterature.

299
00:15:20,451 --> 00:15:21,150
You can just-

300
00:15:21,184 --> 00:15:22,384
What?

301
00:15:22,417 --> 00:15:25,184
Books you diddle to, babe.

302
00:15:25,217 --> 00:15:26,085
Please, girl.

303
00:15:26,117 --> 00:15:28,317
Tell me that you masturbate,
at least.

304
00:15:29,351 --> 00:15:30,351
No.

305
00:15:30,384 --> 00:15:32,184
This is not about me, alright?

306
00:15:32,217 --> 00:15:33,650
This is about my
boyfriend leaving

307
00:15:33,684 --> 00:15:36,818
because I think being a pervert
is really inappropriate.

308
00:15:36,851 --> 00:15:43,217
I also have blindfolds,
handcuffs, vibrators...

309
00:15:45,283 --> 00:15:46,383
Priscilla has them, too!

310
00:15:46,416 --> 00:15:48,450
Oh, the buzz buzz,
not the rest of it.

311
00:15:48,483 --> 00:15:49,383
You do?

312
00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:50,383
It's called a personal massager.

313
00:15:50,416 --> 00:15:51,718
I got it at Brookestone.

314
00:15:51,751 --> 00:15:53,550
Really?

315
00:15:53,583 --> 00:15:54,550
Oh.

316
00:15:54,583 --> 00:15:58,350
Well... but you have Stanley.

317
00:15:58,383 --> 00:16:00,651
Vibrators are necessary,
my dear.

318
00:16:00,684 --> 00:16:02,583
Because life is short

319
00:16:02,617 --> 00:16:05,850
and explaining things
to men is long.

320
00:16:26,650 --> 00:16:28,783
<i>Sex to do list.</i>

321
00:16:28,817 --> 00:16:32,282
<i>Number one.
Watch 25 porn films.</i>

322
00:16:32,315 --> 00:16:35,617
<i>Number two.
Go to a sex store.</i>

323
00:16:35,650 --> 00:16:38,482
<i>Number three.
Read cliterature.</i>

324
00:16:38,515 --> 00:16:40,717
<i>Number four.
Visit strip club.</i>

325
00:16:40,750 --> 00:16:42,315
<i>Number five.
Sex toy party.</i>

326
00:16:42,349 --> 00:16:43,883
<i>Number six.
Sex seminar.</i>

327
00:16:43,917 --> 00:16:45,415
<i>Number seven.
Test vibrators.</i>

328
00:16:45,449 --> 00:16:47,650
<i>Number eight. Internet porn,
view some.</i>

329
00:16:47,683 --> 00:16:49,817
<i>Number nine.
Consult a sex expert.</i>

330
00:16:49,849 --> 00:16:51,617
<i>Number 10.
Brothel, visit.</i>

331
00:16:51,650 --> 00:16:54,182
<i>Number 11.
Meet a porn star.</i>

332
00:16:54,215 --> 00:16:55,415
<i>Number 12...</i>

333
00:16:55,449 --> 00:16:59,315
<i>Use "hot, throbbing cock"
convincingly in a sentence.</i>

334
00:16:59,349 --> 00:17:00,682
There.

335
00:17:00,716 --> 00:17:05,248
And I can even check
the last one off right now.

336
00:17:11,514 --> 00:17:13,816
For the love of god, cock!

337
00:17:13,849 --> 00:17:16,314
<i>Cock! Cock! Cock!</i>

338
00:17:16,348 --> 00:17:17,749
<i>Cock! Cock.</i>

339
00:17:17,782 --> 00:17:19,348
I want your cock!

340
00:17:20,749 --> 00:17:22,247
Well done.

341
00:17:23,314 --> 00:17:24,414
Cock.

342
00:17:41,616 --> 00:17:43,114
God!

343
00:17:45,848 --> 00:17:46,648
Hey!

344
00:17:46,681 --> 00:17:48,181
Woah!

345
00:17:48,214 --> 00:17:50,915
Oh, Grant, you gotta go
check out the ballroom, man.

346
00:17:50,948 --> 00:17:52,648
The bridal party's twerkin'.

347
00:17:54,314 --> 00:17:54,748
Woah.

348
00:17:54,781 --> 00:17:55,381
You're kidding.

349
00:17:55,414 --> 00:17:56,615
Ah, ah!

350
00:17:58,948 --> 00:18:00,313
<i>Ugh!</i>

351
00:18:01,815 --> 00:18:03,513
<i>Oh my god,
are you serious?</i>

352
00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:05,447
Hello?

353
00:18:05,480 --> 00:18:07,313
<i>I can't believe you
would do this to me.</i>

354
00:18:07,347 --> 00:18:07,915
<i>What, Jeff?</i>

355
00:18:07,948 --> 00:18:09,715
<i>I'm not enough for you?</i>

356
00:18:09,748 --> 00:18:11,113
<i>Ugh!</i>

357
00:18:14,548 --> 00:18:15,881
Everything alright in there?

358
00:18:17,180 --> 00:18:18,715
<i>Coming in.</i>

359
00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:27,581
You alright, love?

360
00:18:27,615 --> 00:18:29,313
You want me to get the doctor?

361
00:18:30,380 --> 00:18:31,146
What?

362
00:18:31,180 --> 00:18:32,213
Why-no.

363
00:18:32,246 --> 00:18:33,213
What, because
I'm on the floor?

364
00:18:33,246 --> 00:18:34,146
No.

365
00:18:34,180 --> 00:18:35,146
No.

366
00:18:35,180 --> 00:18:36,180
No, no, no.

367
00:18:36,213 --> 00:18:37,213
I'm just medicating.

368
00:18:37,246 --> 00:18:38,180
Tating.

369
00:18:38,213 --> 00:18:40,580
Meditating.

370
00:18:40,614 --> 00:18:42,814
I just heard crying
or yelling.

371
00:18:42,847 --> 00:18:43,814
Chanting.

372
00:18:43,847 --> 00:18:44,580
Chanting?

373
00:18:44,614 --> 00:18:45,513
Yeah.

374
00:18:45,547 --> 00:18:47,547
Yeah?

375
00:18:47,580 --> 00:18:49,180
Just coming to check to make
sure everything's fine?

376
00:18:49,213 --> 00:18:50,446
Yeah.

377
00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:53,279
No, I always do like a little
chant for the gride and broom.

378
00:18:53,312 --> 00:18:56,179
Before the first dance.

379
00:18:56,212 --> 00:18:59,145
How do you mean?

380
00:18:59,179 --> 00:19:02,245
Oh, you know,
like a chant.

381
00:19:02,279 --> 00:19:04,547
Yeah, no, I don't.

382
00:19:04,580 --> 00:19:06,212
Yeah, just sort of...

383
00:19:07,046 --> 00:19:15,846
Close my eyes and go

384
00:19:15,879 --> 00:19:20,846
Chanting...

385
00:19:20,879 --> 00:19:22,713
Which obviously
means something.

386
00:19:22,746 --> 00:19:23,513
Unity.

387
00:19:23,546 --> 00:19:24,480
Yeah.

388
00:19:24,512 --> 00:19:29,279
Yeah. It means unity
in that they're now one.

389
00:19:29,312 --> 00:19:31,446
And yet they're two.

390
00:19:31,479 --> 00:19:35,145
So, really it's about being
strong enough

391
00:19:35,179 --> 00:19:39,512
to make one one
out of two ones.

392
00:19:39,546 --> 00:19:41,713
And yet still be two.

393
00:19:41,746 --> 00:19:42,546
Yeah.

394
00:19:42,579 --> 00:19:44,378
Makes sense.

395
00:19:44,411 --> 00:19:46,411
Totally get it.

396
00:19:46,446 --> 00:19:47,311
You do?

397
00:19:47,345 --> 00:19:48,579
Yeah.

398
00:19:48,613 --> 00:19:51,813
It's... like a building.

399
00:19:51,846 --> 00:19:53,679
It's only as strong
as its weakest pillar.

400
00:19:53,713 --> 00:19:55,646
Yeah, but is that true?

401
00:19:55,679 --> 00:19:58,244
Because it seems to me that
if you have enough pillars,

402
00:19:58,278 --> 00:20:00,178
like say you're the Acropolis,

403
00:20:00,211 --> 00:20:03,745
I think you could get away
with one crappy pillar.

404
00:20:03,778 --> 00:20:04,845
Sure.

405
00:20:04,878 --> 00:20:10,446
Except for earthquakes,
hurricanes, strong winds...

406
00:20:10,479 --> 00:20:11,278
Aliens.

407
00:20:11,311 --> 00:20:13,178
Well, we can't do much
about that.

408
00:20:13,211 --> 00:20:15,178
But you make a good point.

409
00:20:15,211 --> 00:20:17,377
One in which I happen
to believe in.

410
00:20:18,445 --> 00:20:20,878
Uh... what-what point
is that?

411
00:20:20,912 --> 00:20:24,144
Well, you can't be useful
in a two

412
00:20:24,178 --> 00:20:27,144
until you figure yourself
out as a one.

413
00:20:28,678 --> 00:20:29,678
Hmm.

414
00:20:30,912 --> 00:20:32,177
Cocktail?

415
00:20:32,210 --> 00:20:33,812
Oh, I'm fine, thanks.

416
00:20:33,845 --> 00:20:35,143
Well, here's to me.

417
00:20:35,177 --> 00:20:36,545
That was brilliant.

418
00:20:36,578 --> 00:20:37,445
But you're right.

419
00:20:37,478 --> 00:20:38,812
No time for cocktails.

420
00:20:38,845 --> 00:20:46,478
The two ones must waltz
so this one one must play.

421
00:20:46,511 --> 00:20:47,612
Ok.

422
00:20:51,911 --> 00:20:53,143
Alrighty.

423
00:20:53,177 --> 00:20:54,411
Hey.

424
00:20:54,445 --> 00:20:56,511
Don't you need this?

425
00:20:57,944 --> 00:21:00,577
Or you chant the waltz, too?

426
00:21:00,611 --> 00:21:02,410
Sometimes.

427
00:21:16,644 --> 00:21:18,176
I'm not pornophobic.

428
00:21:22,444 --> 00:21:23,911
<i>All men look at dirty pictures.</i>

429
00:21:23,943 --> 00:21:27,142
Oh, Jeff.

430
00:21:27,176 --> 00:21:29,510
Yes, yes, give it to me good.

431
00:21:29,544 --> 00:21:31,810
<i>You're pornophobic.</i>

432
00:21:31,843 --> 00:21:35,444
<i>I cannot drink her blood,
she's pornophobic.</i>

433
00:21:35,477 --> 00:21:36,676
<i>Am I not enough?</i>

434
00:21:36,710 --> 00:21:39,477
<i>Looks like she's suffering
from stage four pornophobia.</i>

435
00:21:39,510 --> 00:21:41,810
Say something racy.

436
00:21:41,843 --> 00:21:43,310
<i>It's a word.</i>

437
00:21:43,344 --> 00:21:44,676
Just say it already.

438
00:21:44,710 --> 00:21:45,910
Pornophobic.

439
00:21:45,943 --> 00:21:46,910
<i>Jeff left me.</i>

440
00:21:46,943 --> 00:21:48,643
<i>Pornophobic.</i>

441
00:21:48,676 --> 00:21:51,843
<i>Today we gather here
to remember Lucy Neal,</i>

442
00:21:51,876 --> 00:21:56,142
<i>who died alone from pornophobia.</i>

443
00:21:56,176 --> 00:21:59,543
<i>She died in the house she
inherited from her grandmother</i>

444
00:21:59,576 --> 00:22:03,743
<i>that she was only able to
fill with unfinished lists,</i>

445
00:22:03,776 --> 00:22:04,843
<i>not love.</i>

446
00:22:04,876 --> 00:22:06,776
You're pornophobic!

447
00:22:25,709 --> 00:22:26,709
Ok.

448
00:22:32,942 --> 00:22:35,276
<i>Sexpressions of Lust?</i>

449
00:22:35,309 --> 00:22:36,709
<i>Please.</i>

450
00:22:42,442 --> 00:22:45,375
<i>Madame Mischief's
Boudoir Secrets.</i>

451
00:22:45,408 --> 00:22:47,442
<i>Maybe it's a historical fiction?</i>

452
00:22:47,475 --> 00:22:49,642
<i>And who doesn't like secrets?</i>

453
00:22:50,308 --> 00:22:52,809
<i>Better get one more for back-up.</i>

454
00:22:53,942 --> 00:22:56,475
Bad Sally.

455
00:22:56,508 --> 00:22:58,375
That can't be right.

456
00:23:32,173 --> 00:23:33,474
Oh god.

457
00:23:50,873 --> 00:23:52,641
Faylene springs from the house

458
00:23:52,674 --> 00:23:55,307
as Michele passionately
gives chase.

459
00:23:55,341 --> 00:23:57,474
<i>Running for her life, Michele
grabs Faylene's wrist</i>

460
00:23:57,507 --> 00:24:02,740
<i>and twirls her until he backs
her into an erect pillar.</i>

461
00:24:02,773 --> 00:24:04,673
<i>He could almost taste
her ruby lips</i>

462
00:24:04,707 --> 00:24:09,707
<i>but Faylene thrusts her knee
into Michele, spins him around.</i>

463
00:24:09,740 --> 00:24:10,740
<i>Seizing the moment,</i>

464
00:24:10,773 --> 00:24:12,373
<i>Faylene pulls out a hidden
pistol sheathed</i>

465
00:24:12,406 --> 00:24:15,607
<i>on her thigh and pulls it
up to his chin.</i>

466
00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:19,273
<i>And then stops.</i>

467
00:24:26,607 --> 00:24:28,707
<i>Michele takes one strong finger</i>

468
00:24:28,740 --> 00:24:30,673
<i>and slowly drags
the pistol downwards.</i>

469
00:24:30,707 --> 00:24:32,640
<i>Faylene watches in wonder
as the cold steel surrenders</i>

470
00:24:32,673 --> 00:24:35,105
<i>to its final destination.</i>

471
00:24:35,573 --> 00:24:37,105
<i>Michele's manhood.</i>

472
00:24:38,173 --> 00:24:42,340
<i>Michele walks his finger across
the barrel and cocks the gun.</i>

473
00:24:42,373 --> 00:24:45,706
<i>Faylene knows what she wants
and she decides to take it.</i>

474
00:24:59,372 --> 00:25:01,139
Whew.

475
00:25:13,305 --> 00:25:14,672
<i>Salt shaker is done.</i>

476
00:25:14,706 --> 00:25:16,672
<i>I can check that off my list.</i>

477
00:25:27,606 --> 00:25:29,606
Hello.

478
00:25:29,638 --> 00:25:33,738
We have chocolate,
mimosas, tissues, sympathy.

479
00:25:33,771 --> 00:25:35,305
Wait, why do you look
so good?

480
00:25:35,339 --> 00:25:36,571
Where did you get
those jeans?

481
00:25:36,605 --> 00:25:37,205
No reason.

482
00:25:37,238 --> 00:25:37,871
Nowhere.

483
00:25:37,905 --> 00:25:39,771
And pity's not why I called.

484
00:25:39,805 --> 00:25:41,538
I told you we need
When Harry Met Sally.

485
00:25:41,571 --> 00:25:42,404
Mmmhmm.

486
00:25:42,438 --> 00:25:43,638
You do chocolates,
I'm on cocktails.

487
00:25:43,671 --> 00:25:44,705
No, really.

488
00:25:44,738 --> 00:25:46,205
I'm fine.

489
00:25:46,238 --> 00:25:47,172
I am.

490
00:25:47,205 --> 00:25:48,705
For, I have renewed life purpose
in the form

491
00:25:48,738 --> 00:25:51,438
of a research project
with which I need your help.

492
00:25:52,471 --> 00:25:53,338
She said research.

493
00:25:53,371 --> 00:25:54,705
She called me for research.

494
00:25:54,738 --> 00:25:55,504
You're losing it.

495
00:25:57,538 --> 00:26:00,705
We're doing number two and the
train is leaving in one minute.

496
00:26:03,204 --> 00:26:06,304
Guys, do you think
I'm gonna need this?

497
00:26:07,671 --> 00:26:09,271
Best break-up ever.

498
00:26:09,304 --> 00:26:10,804
Oh god.

499
00:26:20,504 --> 00:26:24,804
This is your Nissan Leaf,
this is your Mercedes C Class,

500
00:26:24,837 --> 00:26:30,870
and this is the Maserati
of vibrators.

501
00:26:30,904 --> 00:26:35,704
A serious piece of equipment for
only the most experienced user.

502
00:26:36,203 --> 00:26:37,270
Oh.

503
00:26:37,303 --> 00:26:39,136
Sold.

504
00:26:40,136 --> 00:26:43,537
<i>Using it could desensitize
you to men forever.</i>

505
00:26:43,837 --> 00:26:45,303
<i>I'll take one.</i>

506
00:26:52,836 --> 00:26:53,704
<i>Hey, Luce!</i>

507
00:26:53,737 --> 00:26:55,769
<i>I found something for ya.</i>

508
00:26:56,503 --> 00:26:58,604
He doesn't say
irritating things,

509
00:26:58,637 --> 00:27:02,303
he's a feminist, doesn't watch
football, or fart.

510
00:27:02,337 --> 00:27:04,603
Well, none of them do at first.

511
00:27:13,402 --> 00:27:17,302
Can I help you
with that cock ring?

512
00:27:17,336 --> 00:27:18,302
No.

513
00:27:18,336 --> 00:27:19,302
No, I got this.

514
00:27:19,336 --> 00:27:20,836
I was just checking...

515
00:27:21,736 --> 00:27:23,136
Sure.

516
00:27:29,803 --> 00:27:31,536
<i>Everything alright over there?</i>

517
00:27:32,003 --> 00:27:36,536
Sorry, just um...
looking for...

518
00:27:38,302 --> 00:27:39,769
for a Mother's Day gift.

519
00:27:39,803 --> 00:27:40,902
Oh.

520
00:27:40,936 --> 00:27:42,802
You know, I was wondering
what a nice girl like you

521
00:27:42,835 --> 00:27:44,603
was doing in a place
like this.

522
00:27:44,636 --> 00:27:47,235
I could ask you
the same thing.

523
00:27:47,269 --> 00:27:48,702
Go ahead.

524
00:27:50,936 --> 00:27:54,835
What's a nice girl like you
doing in a place like this?

525
00:27:55,501 --> 00:27:56,436
Oh...

526
00:27:59,535 --> 00:28:00,468
Oh!

527
00:28:00,501 --> 00:28:01,401
Busy day you got there.

528
00:28:01,435 --> 00:28:02,235
Oh-

529
00:28:02,269 --> 00:28:03,269
Uh, it's amazing
you have the time

530
00:28:03,302 --> 00:28:07,768
with all the violin playing
and the chanting.

531
00:28:07,802 --> 00:28:09,201
Of course you remember me.

532
00:28:09,234 --> 00:28:11,201
It's not every day I run
into a beautiful girl

533
00:28:11,234 --> 00:28:14,468
with such a propensity
for crouching.

534
00:28:15,368 --> 00:28:18,602
<i>Did he actually just use
the word "propensity"?</i>

535
00:28:21,168 --> 00:28:22,535
Oh hey.

536
00:28:23,335 --> 00:28:24,802
Adopted this puppy.

537
00:28:25,702 --> 00:28:27,501
And breakfast is ready.

538
00:28:28,668 --> 00:28:30,568
And the dishes are done.

539
00:28:31,902 --> 00:28:34,401
Hey, you're the best man
from the wedding

540
00:28:34,435 --> 00:28:35,734
with the pooping horse?

541
00:28:35,767 --> 00:28:38,301
Oh, yeah, I was just
a groomsman.

542
00:28:38,335 --> 00:28:40,268
Oh, well, I'm Nessa.

543
00:28:40,301 --> 00:28:41,734
I was a part of the quartet.

544
00:28:41,767 --> 00:28:43,567
Oh, yeah. You guys
were great.

545
00:28:43,601 --> 00:28:45,234
Thank you.

546
00:28:45,268 --> 00:28:46,868
I play the cello.

547
00:28:46,902 --> 00:28:47,902
Um, yeah.

548
00:28:47,935 --> 00:28:50,400
It's, you know, the big one
between your legs?

549
00:28:50,434 --> 00:28:53,300
Lucy over here,
she plays the violin.

550
00:28:53,334 --> 00:28:55,534
So it's Lucy, is it?

551
00:28:55,567 --> 00:28:57,734
So fancy meeting you here.

552
00:28:57,767 --> 00:29:00,233
What're you doing?

553
00:29:00,267 --> 00:29:02,367
Oh yeah, um, good question.

554
00:29:02,400 --> 00:29:04,133
I'm looking for a Mother's
Day gift.

555
00:29:04,167 --> 00:29:06,167
Oh, really?

556
00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:07,467
Me too.

557
00:29:07,500 --> 00:29:11,233
I mean, I would never be here
for myself.

558
00:29:12,434 --> 00:29:13,867
Or would I?

559
00:29:13,901 --> 00:29:15,133
Nessa.

560
00:29:15,167 --> 00:29:18,167
Uh, I'm actually
an architect.

561
00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:19,434
Paul Goodwin works at my firm.

562
00:29:19,467 --> 00:29:20,666
Right.

563
00:29:20,700 --> 00:29:24,534
Yeah, I vaguely remember him
mentioning something like that.

564
00:29:24,566 --> 00:29:26,434
I'm ah, working on
a job upstairs

565
00:29:26,467 --> 00:29:27,733
to reconfigure
the office space.

566
00:29:27,766 --> 00:29:28,968
Oh.

567
00:29:29,001 --> 00:29:30,733
Not nearly as interesting as
what's going on on that list.

568
00:29:30,766 --> 00:29:31,566
Oh, no.

569
00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:35,466
This is purely a
research project.

570
00:29:35,499 --> 00:29:36,333
Yeah, honestly
I can't help it.

571
00:29:36,366 --> 00:29:41,333
I went to Harvard
so I'm research-y.

572
00:29:41,366 --> 00:29:42,366
Actually, that's where
I met Paul.

573
00:29:42,399 --> 00:29:43,499
Really?

574
00:29:43,533 --> 00:29:46,433
You're using the H-bomb
on the best man?

575
00:29:46,466 --> 00:29:47,232
I just can't.

576
00:29:47,266 --> 00:29:48,232
I'm gonna go talk
to Priscilla.

577
00:29:48,266 --> 00:29:50,433
And wha the hell is up
with your lips, girl?

578
00:29:53,700 --> 00:29:55,533
I'm Grant.

579
00:29:55,566 --> 00:29:57,132
Who works here?

580
00:29:57,633 --> 00:29:59,333
Did I hear you say you
work here?

581
00:30:00,733 --> 00:30:02,732
Why, yes he does.

582
00:30:04,399 --> 00:30:06,466
So does she.

583
00:30:06,499 --> 00:30:08,866
I just wanna find out
if this works.

584
00:30:09,299 --> 00:30:13,433
Actually, sir, I am very
familiar with this product.

585
00:30:13,466 --> 00:30:15,366
It's one of my favourites.

586
00:30:15,399 --> 00:30:18,266
In fact, I've got it on
right now.

587
00:30:18,632 --> 00:30:20,398
What do you mean,
you're wearing it now?

588
00:30:20,432 --> 00:30:21,833
On what?

589
00:30:21,866 --> 00:30:23,498
On my lips.

590
00:30:23,532 --> 00:30:24,732
You put it on your lips?

591
00:30:24,766 --> 00:30:29,599
Uh, Luce, I don't think you put
erection cream on your lips.

592
00:30:30,298 --> 00:30:31,465
Oh my god.

593
00:30:33,165 --> 00:30:34,298
Oh.

594
00:30:34,833 --> 00:30:36,365
Excuse me?

595
00:30:36,398 --> 00:30:38,565
Do these come in extra large?

596
00:30:43,198 --> 00:30:46,198
Got you some ice
from the cafe.

597
00:30:46,231 --> 00:30:47,532
Thanks.

598
00:30:49,465 --> 00:30:55,332
Yeah, I thought your lips
looked a little...

599
00:30:55,365 --> 00:30:57,432
You got a chant for
this sort of thing?

600
00:30:58,598 --> 00:30:59,799
Woah.

601
00:31:02,932 --> 00:31:04,531
Can I have your number?

602
00:31:05,332 --> 00:31:06,431
You want my number?

603
00:31:06,464 --> 00:31:07,765
Yeah.

604
00:31:09,631 --> 00:31:10,865
Wait, really?

605
00:31:10,899 --> 00:31:13,431
I have a gig you might
be interested in playing.

606
00:31:14,230 --> 00:31:15,631
That's awesome.

607
00:31:16,297 --> 00:31:19,264
I'll um, I'll wait out here.

608
00:31:23,832 --> 00:31:24,865
Bye.

609
00:31:43,464 --> 00:31:46,464
So his dad co-chairs this annual
insurance commissioner's dinner

610
00:31:46,496 --> 00:31:48,397
and he wants you and me
to walk around

611
00:31:48,431 --> 00:31:50,331
and do the wandering
minstrel thing.

612
00:31:50,364 --> 00:31:51,731
First the wedding
and now this?

613
00:31:51,764 --> 00:31:53,230
Is he your new booking agent?

614
00:31:53,264 --> 00:31:55,197
Excuse me, why not all of us?

615
00:31:55,230 --> 00:31:58,197
Uh, I don't know, but you did
make it a point to tell him

616
00:31:58,230 --> 00:31:59,898
that your legs are pretty
occupied while you play.

617
00:32:00,831 --> 00:32:01,731
Will he be there?

618
00:32:01,764 --> 00:32:03,163
<i>He didn't say.</i>

619
00:32:03,196 --> 00:32:06,229
So, with the exception
of the H-bomb incident,

620
00:32:06,263 --> 00:32:08,229
and putting erection cream
on your lips,

621
00:32:08,263 --> 00:32:09,798
I'd say this was
very successful.

622
00:32:09,831 --> 00:32:12,363
You had a nice conversation
with a handsome man,

623
00:32:12,396 --> 00:32:16,897
we got a gig out of nowhere,
and you got Burt.

624
00:33:08,362 --> 00:33:09,663
Hmm.

625
00:33:16,295 --> 00:33:18,796
You know, after one week of
being broken up with Jeff

626
00:33:18,829 --> 00:33:24,162
after four years of dating and I
cannot believe how great I feel.

627
00:33:24,195 --> 00:33:27,461
Well, what I can't believe is
that we're actually doing this.

628
00:33:27,494 --> 00:33:30,461
Alright, Jersey, how we doin'?

629
00:33:30,494 --> 00:33:32,596
All six of you.

630
00:33:32,629 --> 00:33:33,762
Alright, first thing's first.

631
00:33:33,796 --> 00:33:34,729
I'm gonna go grab us
some drinks.

632
00:33:34,762 --> 00:33:38,161
Alright, now for the sexiest
identical twins

633
00:33:38,194 --> 00:33:40,294
with the hottest dance moves.

634
00:33:40,328 --> 00:33:43,328
Everybody give it up
for Cherry and

635
00:33:43,361 --> 00:33:46,127
♪ ...Dallas. ♪

636
00:33:46,428 --> 00:33:47,394
Dallas!

637
00:33:51,629 --> 00:33:53,761
<i>Hey Wes, can I trouble you
for two beers, mate?</i>

638
00:33:53,795 --> 00:33:54,795
<i>Pretend like you don't
know me.</i>

639
00:33:54,828 --> 00:33:56,227
Brilliant.

640
00:33:57,294 --> 00:33:58,562
Did he say Cherry and Dallas?

641
00:33:58,596 --> 00:34:01,161
You know, this is not
what I expected.

642
00:34:01,194 --> 00:34:01,595
Shh.

643
00:34:01,628 --> 00:34:02,494
Why?

644
00:34:02,528 --> 00:34:03,795
Are you afraid I'm gonna
wake them up?

645
00:34:03,828 --> 00:34:04,828
Oh, come on.

646
00:34:04,861 --> 00:34:06,828
They're performers and
you're talking over them.

647
00:34:06,861 --> 00:34:08,127
Don't be rude.

648
00:34:08,161 --> 00:34:09,194
It's disrespectful.

649
00:34:09,227 --> 00:34:09,795
I'm just saying.

650
00:34:09,828 --> 00:34:10,493
Hi, Cynthia.

651
00:34:10,527 --> 00:34:11,628
Loving the hair.

652
00:34:11,661 --> 00:34:12,728
How are you doing tonight?

653
00:34:12,761 --> 00:34:13,460
Hi.

654
00:34:13,493 --> 00:34:14,194
Thank you.

655
00:34:14,227 --> 00:34:15,393
Oh, it's a little cold
in here.

656
00:34:15,427 --> 00:34:16,094
Can I-

657
00:34:16,127 --> 00:34:16,795
Actually, we're totally fine.

658
00:34:16,828 --> 00:34:18,161
Why don't you keep the change?

659
00:34:18,194 --> 00:34:18,861
You know what?

660
00:34:18,895 --> 00:34:19,861
Throw that in for good measure.

661
00:34:19,895 --> 00:34:21,327
Don't embarrass me.

662
00:34:21,360 --> 00:34:23,460
Embarrassment's the least
of your problems.

663
00:34:23,493 --> 00:34:25,160
Ok, I need to level with you.

664
00:34:25,193 --> 00:34:26,427
It's not cold in here.

665
00:34:26,460 --> 00:34:27,493
It's optimal.

666
00:34:27,528 --> 00:34:29,226
Get with the program.

667
00:34:30,828 --> 00:34:32,193
Where are you going?

668
00:34:32,460 --> 00:34:33,695
Getting with the program.

669
00:34:33,728 --> 00:34:34,728
Don't do that!

670
00:34:34,761 --> 00:34:36,393
Lucy, come back, please.

671
00:34:37,327 --> 00:34:38,260
Hi.

672
00:34:38,293 --> 00:34:39,695
Your wife didn't send me here
to spy on you,

673
00:34:39,728 --> 00:34:40,894
I promise.

674
00:34:40,927 --> 00:34:42,226
Don't worry.

675
00:34:49,160 --> 00:34:53,093
<i>I wonder how these girls stay
in such good shape.</i>

676
00:34:54,193 --> 00:34:55,160
Quick question for you.

677
00:34:55,193 --> 00:34:59,527
Do you do pilates or...
oh, wow.

678
00:35:01,727 --> 00:35:04,326
Oh, nice, Luce.

679
00:35:04,359 --> 00:35:06,093
Thank you so much.

680
00:35:16,860 --> 00:35:18,159
<i>Wait a second.</i>

681
00:35:20,159 --> 00:35:22,794
<i>She is totally thinking
about her shopping list.</i>

682
00:35:22,826 --> 00:35:24,192
Ha!

683
00:35:26,926 --> 00:35:28,326
Woo!

684
00:35:57,291 --> 00:35:58,258
Oh.

685
00:36:00,826 --> 00:36:01,793
Ok.

686
00:36:10,792 --> 00:36:13,426
I'm just gonna
see what-

687
00:36:13,459 --> 00:36:14,358
She's trying to take my money!

688
00:36:14,391 --> 00:36:16,358
No, I can't make change?

689
00:36:17,224 --> 00:36:18,291
No, you did not.

690
00:36:18,325 --> 00:36:19,625
What were you thinking?

691
00:36:19,658 --> 00:36:21,858
As pleasing as her
vagina thrusts were,

692
00:36:21,892 --> 00:36:24,124
it just-it was not
a $20 kind of happy.

693
00:36:24,158 --> 00:36:26,491
Welcome to the Pleasure
Palace Party.

694
00:36:26,525 --> 00:36:29,258
We got the dildos,
we got the vibrators,

695
00:36:29,291 --> 00:36:32,625
so look around,
don't be shy.

696
00:36:32,658 --> 00:36:35,191
If you wanna get to the top
of the mountain

697
00:36:35,224 --> 00:36:36,825
you gotta go equipped.

698
00:36:36,858 --> 00:36:38,158
Oh.

699
00:36:39,158 --> 00:36:42,425
I did learn one very important
thing at the strip club.

700
00:36:42,458 --> 00:36:44,357
If naked enough it
doesn't matter

701
00:36:44,391 --> 00:36:45,825
if you can actually dance.

702
00:36:45,858 --> 00:36:48,123
Oh, I know what these are.

703
00:36:48,157 --> 00:36:49,792
People use these for meditating.

704
00:36:50,324 --> 00:36:52,825
No, those are Ben-Wa balls.

705
00:36:52,858 --> 00:36:54,458
50 Shades?

706
00:36:54,491 --> 00:36:55,458
Book two?

707
00:36:55,491 --> 00:36:57,123
Ben who?

708
00:36:57,658 --> 00:37:00,391
You take two of those,
you stick 'em up your lady,

709
00:37:00,425 --> 00:37:04,123
and just hold them for
a couple of hours, ok?

710
00:37:04,824 --> 00:37:06,324
Wait, what?

711
00:37:06,358 --> 00:37:07,024
Oh my god.

712
00:37:07,058 --> 00:37:08,824
Those are for Kegel exercises.

713
00:37:08,857 --> 00:37:11,123
You could do 'em in the car.

714
00:37:11,591 --> 00:37:13,791
Shit, I'm doing them right now.

715
00:37:13,824 --> 00:37:16,824
Experience intense natural
pleasure as each weighted ball

716
00:37:16,857 --> 00:37:18,624
rolls and moves with you
to give you

717
00:37:18,657 --> 00:37:22,357
a mind-blowing
internal massage.

718
00:37:22,390 --> 00:37:27,791
Now, you're gonna sculpt
a banana into a penis

719
00:37:27,824 --> 00:37:29,757
with your teeth.

720
00:37:33,256 --> 00:37:34,189
Catch that!

721
00:37:34,222 --> 00:37:36,289
Oh yeah, get that banana.

722
00:37:36,324 --> 00:37:39,289
<i>Well, I'll never look at a
banana the same way again.</i>

723
00:37:39,691 --> 00:37:41,289
<i>And neither will Paul.</i>

724
00:37:41,557 --> 00:37:42,823
<i>Sex toy party.</i>

725
00:37:42,856 --> 00:37:43,823
<i>Check.</i>

726
00:38:04,656 --> 00:38:05,823
Wait, why'd you stop?

727
00:38:05,856 --> 00:38:08,456
Uh, nothing.

728
00:38:08,489 --> 00:38:09,556
Nothing.

729
00:38:09,590 --> 00:38:12,823
I think I just... I really need
to go to the bathroom.

730
00:38:12,856 --> 00:38:13,723
Oh my, well go!

731
00:38:13,756 --> 00:38:15,590
It's right down there.

732
00:38:17,389 --> 00:38:20,823
I don't think I can
make it that far.

733
00:38:20,856 --> 00:38:21,790
Oh god.

734
00:38:21,823 --> 00:38:22,690
It's gonna come out.

735
00:38:22,723 --> 00:38:23,556
What is?

736
00:38:28,255 --> 00:38:29,188
Not a word.

737
00:38:29,456 --> 00:38:30,723
Not a word.

738
00:38:31,389 --> 00:38:33,188
Uh-uh.

739
00:38:34,255 --> 00:38:35,389
Ok.

740
00:38:35,423 --> 00:38:36,121
Oh.

741
00:38:36,155 --> 00:38:36,822
Oh!

742
00:38:36,855 --> 00:38:38,188
I don't think I can bend over.

743
00:38:38,221 --> 00:38:39,389
Because there's a second one?

744
00:38:39,423 --> 00:38:39,822
Three.

745
00:38:39,855 --> 00:38:40,789
Oh!

746
00:38:40,822 --> 00:38:41,555
There are three more.

747
00:38:41,589 --> 00:38:43,755
I bought two boxes.

748
00:38:44,389 --> 00:38:45,655
I see.

749
00:38:45,689 --> 00:38:46,655
For Kegels.

750
00:38:46,689 --> 00:38:48,188
Say no more.

751
00:38:50,789 --> 00:38:52,022
I need you to pick it up.

752
00:38:52,056 --> 00:38:54,188
You know, I didn't think there
were limits to our friendship.

753
00:38:54,221 --> 00:38:55,488
I realize it's just not true.

754
00:38:55,522 --> 00:38:56,755
Oh, this is not funny.

755
00:38:56,789 --> 00:38:57,622
It's not funny, ok?

756
00:38:57,655 --> 00:39:00,322
I only wore these
to a work function

757
00:39:00,355 --> 00:39:02,522
because I knew we would
be standing for three hours

758
00:39:02,555 --> 00:39:05,689
and, you know,
I wanted to tone.

759
00:39:07,789 --> 00:39:08,822
Stop!

760
00:39:08,855 --> 00:39:09,855
Stop, ok?

761
00:39:09,889 --> 00:39:11,855
If you make me laugh another
ball will pop out.

762
00:39:11,888 --> 00:39:13,589
Oh god, I'm so...

763
00:39:13,622 --> 00:39:14,722
I need help here. Please.

764
00:39:14,755 --> 00:39:16,288
Ok, ok. Let's go.

765
00:39:19,854 --> 00:39:20,589
What was that?

766
00:39:20,622 --> 00:39:21,788
I don't know.

767
00:39:21,821 --> 00:39:24,522
When I walk my legs just
sort of rub together

768
00:39:24,555 --> 00:39:25,821
and I'm already so, so-

769
00:39:25,854 --> 00:39:27,522
oh my god, I might-

770
00:39:27,554 --> 00:39:28,154
Hallelujah?

771
00:39:28,187 --> 00:39:28,888
Yeah.

772
00:39:28,921 --> 00:39:31,120
Ok, we're gonna
have to risk it.

773
00:39:31,154 --> 00:39:32,688
Lucy, if you do this
while holding my hand

774
00:39:32,721 --> 00:39:34,322
this friendship will
never be the same.

775
00:39:34,355 --> 00:39:36,154
Ladies, you look like
you're having a good night.

776
00:39:36,187 --> 00:39:37,688
Some of us more than others.

777
00:39:37,721 --> 00:39:38,688
Hi.

778
00:39:38,721 --> 00:39:39,721
What're you doing here?

779
00:39:39,754 --> 00:39:41,154
Oh, seeing my dad.

780
00:39:41,187 --> 00:39:43,354
He's on the board
with the trust.

781
00:39:43,754 --> 00:39:45,186
It's irrelevant.

782
00:39:45,220 --> 00:39:46,220
Now I'm seeing you.

783
00:39:46,254 --> 00:39:47,721
Have you met Priscilla?

784
00:39:47,754 --> 00:39:48,621
No, how are you?

785
00:39:48,654 --> 00:39:49,654
The leader of our quartet.

786
00:39:49,688 --> 00:39:52,654
My dear friend, who always
comes to my rescue.

787
00:39:52,688 --> 00:39:54,387
Oh, you need a lot of that?

788
00:39:54,421 --> 00:39:56,354
No, not at all,
but even still,

789
00:39:56,387 --> 00:39:58,788
she's just always waiting
for the other ball to drop.

790
00:39:58,821 --> 00:40:01,086
I mean shoe.

791
00:40:02,853 --> 00:40:04,354
Is it hot in here?

792
00:40:04,387 --> 00:40:05,321
Yeah, it is.

793
00:40:05,354 --> 00:40:06,521
Hmm.

794
00:40:06,554 --> 00:40:09,820
Um, I see someone that I...

795
00:40:09,853 --> 00:40:11,254
I don't see anyone.

796
00:40:11,287 --> 00:40:13,487
I'm just getting
out of the way.

797
00:40:16,187 --> 00:40:17,287
Are you tired?

798
00:40:17,321 --> 00:40:18,119
Am I tired?

799
00:40:18,153 --> 00:40:19,753
Yeah, you seem a bit
out of breath.

800
00:40:19,787 --> 00:40:20,753
Mmm-mmm.

801
00:40:20,787 --> 00:40:21,753
Mmm-mmm.

802
00:40:21,787 --> 00:40:24,787
No, I just sort of get
that way when I play.

803
00:40:24,820 --> 00:40:25,887
Oh, I get it.

804
00:40:25,920 --> 00:40:27,787
You're amazing.

805
00:40:29,453 --> 00:40:30,587
Sweet Jesus.

806
00:40:30,853 --> 00:40:32,219
Oh, what was that?

807
00:40:32,253 --> 00:40:32,753
Hmm?

808
00:40:32,787 --> 00:40:33,887
That.

809
00:40:33,920 --> 00:40:37,787
No, my back just gets that way
when I stand and play.

810
00:40:37,820 --> 00:40:39,085
Alright.

811
00:40:41,253 --> 00:40:42,353
Are you cold?

812
00:40:42,386 --> 00:40:43,118
Mmmhmm.

813
00:40:43,153 --> 00:40:43,753
Yeah.

814
00:40:43,787 --> 00:40:44,820
Oh, let's get you moving.

815
00:40:44,853 --> 00:40:45,620
Oh.

816
00:40:45,653 --> 00:40:46,720
Come on.

817
00:40:51,653 --> 00:40:53,186
Ah.

818
00:40:53,620 --> 00:40:54,653
You ok?

819
00:40:54,686 --> 00:40:55,719
Yeah.

820
00:40:55,752 --> 00:40:57,253
Yeah.

821
00:40:57,286 --> 00:40:58,819
Just warming up a little.

822
00:41:00,852 --> 00:41:02,519
If I didn't know better,

823
00:41:02,552 --> 00:41:03,886
your lips look beautifully
deflated this evening.

824
00:41:08,353 --> 00:41:10,686
Women don't usually
find me funny.

825
00:41:11,186 --> 00:41:13,419
It's my pleasure.

826
00:41:13,686 --> 00:41:14,686
Truly.

827
00:41:15,586 --> 00:41:16,352
Oh.

828
00:41:17,385 --> 00:41:18,452
Oh.

829
00:41:19,652 --> 00:41:21,118
Oh, what was that?

830
00:41:21,152 --> 00:41:21,819
What was what?

831
00:41:21,852 --> 00:41:23,152
Something just hit my foot.

832
00:41:23,185 --> 00:41:23,786
Is that a bird?

833
00:41:23,819 --> 00:41:24,786
There's a bird?

834
00:41:25,886 --> 00:41:27,719
Nope. Nope.

835
00:41:27,752 --> 00:41:28,852
Sorry, my mistake.

836
00:41:28,886 --> 00:41:29,586
Weird.

837
00:41:29,619 --> 00:41:30,652
Anyway.

838
00:41:30,686 --> 00:41:31,552
Hmm?

839
00:41:31,586 --> 00:41:32,552
I was thinking...

840
00:41:32,586 --> 00:41:33,118
Yeah?

841
00:41:33,152 --> 00:41:34,118
If you're not too busy-

842
00:41:34,152 --> 00:41:34,686
Never.

843
00:41:34,719 --> 00:41:35,485
Or too hot.

844
00:41:35,519 --> 00:41:36,118
Would you like to-

845
00:41:36,152 --> 00:41:36,818
Yes.

846
00:41:36,851 --> 00:41:37,586
Have dinner with me?

847
00:41:37,619 --> 00:41:38,885
Dear god, yes!

848
00:41:49,718 --> 00:41:51,518
So you call me up out of
the blue to ask me

849
00:41:51,551 --> 00:41:52,518
how good you were in bed?

850
00:41:52,551 --> 00:41:53,319
Mmmhmm.

851
00:41:53,352 --> 00:41:54,319
Out of a percentage
out of 100.

852
00:41:54,352 --> 00:41:58,451
But if you must, I will accept
a letter grade.

853
00:42:01,284 --> 00:42:02,651
Did you meet someone?

854
00:42:02,685 --> 00:42:03,518
What?

855
00:42:03,551 --> 00:42:04,451
No.

856
00:42:04,718 --> 00:42:05,518
No.

857
00:42:05,551 --> 00:42:06,318
I was just wondering-

858
00:42:06,351 --> 00:42:07,651
You did.

859
00:42:07,685 --> 00:42:10,718
You're seeing someone.

860
00:42:10,751 --> 00:42:11,851
Yeah, I am.

861
00:42:11,885 --> 00:42:12,651
I'm sorry.

862
00:42:12,685 --> 00:42:13,651
It's very new-

863
00:42:13,685 --> 00:42:14,284
No, no.

864
00:42:14,318 --> 00:42:15,818
It's a-I'm relieved, ok?

865
00:42:15,851 --> 00:42:21,551
'Cause I'm... I'm also seeing
someone else, too.

866
00:42:21,585 --> 00:42:22,418
You are?

867
00:42:22,451 --> 00:42:23,685
Yeah.

868
00:42:23,718 --> 00:42:24,351
Huh.

869
00:42:24,384 --> 00:42:25,618
Wow.

870
00:42:27,884 --> 00:42:28,817
Halloween.

871
00:42:28,850 --> 00:42:29,384
Yeah.

872
00:42:29,418 --> 00:42:31,217
Right after we broke up.

873
00:42:31,251 --> 00:42:34,817
Oh, or is that how she dresses
all the time?

874
00:42:34,850 --> 00:42:36,584
That's funny.

875
00:42:36,617 --> 00:42:38,650
I miss your sense of humour.

876
00:42:39,450 --> 00:42:41,351
Is that-I'm sorry, is that bad
for me to say

877
00:42:41,383 --> 00:42:43,483
that I miss something
about you?

878
00:42:45,717 --> 00:42:49,617
Uh... so, how are the-
how's your lists coming?

879
00:42:49,650 --> 00:42:51,650
Oh, very well, thank you.

880
00:42:51,684 --> 00:42:53,483
Yeah, after the porn thing

881
00:42:53,517 --> 00:42:56,183
I made a list that's
all about sex.

882
00:42:56,216 --> 00:43:02,183
And I recently went to both
a porn shop and a strip club.

883
00:43:04,684 --> 00:43:05,584
What?

884
00:43:05,617 --> 00:43:06,550
You-no, you're...

885
00:43:06,584 --> 00:43:07,883
you're hilarious.

886
00:43:07,916 --> 00:43:13,417
You see, this-you, us
being friends, this rocks.

887
00:43:13,450 --> 00:43:14,749
Yeah, it's great.

888
00:43:14,783 --> 00:43:17,550
Uh, but, sex with me.

889
00:43:17,583 --> 00:43:18,849
How was it?

890
00:43:18,883 --> 00:43:20,116
Oh, right.

891
00:43:20,150 --> 00:43:24,549
Um... it was fine.

892
00:43:24,583 --> 00:43:27,250
Jeff, literally choose
any letter.

893
00:43:27,283 --> 00:43:28,416
Ok, uh, geez.

894
00:43:28,449 --> 00:43:31,216
Uh... like A through F,
right?

895
00:43:31,250 --> 00:43:32,083
Yes.

896
00:43:32,716 --> 00:43:34,150
Ok.

897
00:43:34,183 --> 00:43:37,282
Uh, you are a...

898
00:43:41,516 --> 00:43:43,215
D.

899
00:43:43,249 --> 00:43:44,316
It's in room D.

900
00:43:44,349 --> 00:43:45,050
Are you sure?

901
00:43:45,082 --> 00:43:46,516
It doesn't say
"sex seminar".

902
00:43:46,549 --> 00:43:48,549
They're not gonna
call it that.

903
00:43:48,583 --> 00:43:49,516
It's this one.

904
00:43:49,549 --> 00:43:50,449
It has to be.

905
00:43:50,482 --> 00:43:51,749
Come on.

906
00:43:55,549 --> 00:44:00,249
Proficiency in sex is a must.

907
00:44:00,282 --> 00:44:05,249
It is the universal language
of humanity.

908
00:44:07,149 --> 00:44:08,182
You're tardy.

909
00:44:08,215 --> 00:44:08,848
Take a seat.

910
00:44:08,882 --> 00:44:09,882
Did you invite her?

911
00:44:09,915 --> 00:44:11,582
No.

912
00:44:11,615 --> 00:44:13,715
What could she have to learn?

913
00:44:15,016 --> 00:44:19,348
<i>To walk around speaking slang
is to be ignorant to one's self.</i>

914
00:44:19,381 --> 00:44:20,215
What're you doing here?

915
00:44:20,248 --> 00:44:21,782
I just came here to do research
for you.

916
00:44:21,815 --> 00:44:25,548
Number one miscommunication
slang speakers make

917
00:44:25,582 --> 00:44:29,448
is to think of it as a
male-centric activity.

918
00:44:29,481 --> 00:44:31,214
<i>That is, they think about
when men intercourse</i>

919
00:44:31,248 --> 00:44:33,882
with women that it's
all about the guy.

920
00:44:33,916 --> 00:44:34,782
Wrong!

921
00:44:34,815 --> 00:44:35,815
Wrong!

922
00:44:35,848 --> 00:44:37,081
Wrong!

923
00:44:37,114 --> 00:44:40,415
From this moment on you will
refer to sexual communication

924
00:44:40,448 --> 00:44:45,548
as the gift that you will
give to only a worthy man,

925
00:44:45,582 --> 00:44:52,448
from you, the soon to be
supremely empowered woman!

926
00:45:00,414 --> 00:45:02,747
Oh, hit-oh wow,
you are tense.

927
00:45:02,781 --> 00:45:04,480
Yeah, I don't think
smacking it

928
00:45:04,514 --> 00:45:06,148
like that is part
of the technique.

929
00:45:06,181 --> 00:45:10,213
Kale, he left me for someone
his own age so I'm just-

930
00:45:10,247 --> 00:45:12,213
I can't deal with men right now.

931
00:45:12,247 --> 00:45:14,447
Oh, Nessa, I'm so sorry.

932
00:45:14,480 --> 00:45:16,414
Here.

933
00:45:16,447 --> 00:45:17,847
I'm gonna help you.

934
00:45:17,882 --> 00:45:19,681
Ok?

935
00:45:19,714 --> 00:45:23,581
It's like we're in Ghost
and you're my Patrick Swayze.

936
00:45:23,614 --> 00:45:27,414
Oh, of course you get
to be Demi Moore.

937
00:45:27,447 --> 00:45:29,480
It takes a village.

938
00:45:56,746 --> 00:45:59,613
Ok, so five weeks until my
audition for the Philharmonic-

939
00:45:59,646 --> 00:46:03,646
I'm not getting any better,
am I?

940
00:46:03,680 --> 00:46:06,246
No, you're really not.

941
00:46:06,279 --> 00:46:07,379
What?

942
00:46:07,413 --> 00:46:09,313
'Cause you're already a genius.

943
00:46:09,346 --> 00:46:11,346
Well, it's true,
and you know it.

944
00:46:11,379 --> 00:46:17,246
You just gotta get
out of there.

945
00:46:17,279 --> 00:46:20,313
Did you know that the female
ferret will die if she goes

946
00:46:20,346 --> 00:46:22,546
into heat and can't find
a mate?

947
00:46:22,580 --> 00:46:25,112
Jeff was the rodent,
not you.

948
00:46:25,146 --> 00:46:26,346
What about the best man?

949
00:46:26,379 --> 00:46:27,313
Groomsman.

950
00:46:27,346 --> 00:46:28,446
Hasn't he called?

951
00:46:28,478 --> 00:46:30,212
You really should ask Paul
what his story is because-

952
00:46:30,246 --> 00:46:32,445
No. No, he did.

953
00:46:32,478 --> 00:46:34,478
We're going out on Saturday.

954
00:46:34,512 --> 00:46:35,312
You are?!

955
00:46:35,345 --> 00:46:36,246
Oh.

956
00:46:36,279 --> 00:46:36,745
That's wonderful!

957
00:46:36,780 --> 00:46:37,612
Oh.

958
00:46:37,645 --> 00:46:39,412
You're at a ten.

959
00:46:39,445 --> 00:46:40,645
Well, what are your plans?

960
00:46:40,679 --> 00:46:43,145
I mean, you could do
a dinner cruise.

961
00:46:43,178 --> 00:46:45,211
Oh, a hot air balloon.

962
00:46:45,245 --> 00:46:47,245
What is with you today?

963
00:46:47,278 --> 00:46:48,780
Nothing, I'm just happy
for you.

964
00:46:48,813 --> 00:46:51,679
Oh... what are those?

965
00:46:51,712 --> 00:46:53,378
Stan got me diamonds.

966
00:46:53,412 --> 00:46:54,679
Oh my god.

967
00:46:54,712 --> 00:46:56,412
Was it the seminar?

968
00:46:56,445 --> 00:46:59,445
I have a sex life again
after 27 years.

969
00:46:59,478 --> 00:47:02,579
Stan and I are doing it like
high school kids on prom night.

970
00:47:02,612 --> 00:47:05,111
Oh, so meaning it's over
in five minutes

971
00:47:05,145 --> 00:47:06,278
and you get nothing out of it.

972
00:47:06,312 --> 00:47:09,278
Except a bad reputation.

973
00:47:09,312 --> 00:47:10,711
Anyway, enough about me.

974
00:47:10,745 --> 00:47:12,378
Why aren't you thrilled
about the best man?

975
00:47:12,412 --> 00:47:13,511
I am.

976
00:47:13,544 --> 00:47:17,278
I... don't you think he's
a little out of my league?

977
00:47:17,312 --> 00:47:19,544
I'm not even gonna dignify
that question.

978
00:47:19,578 --> 00:47:22,178
You're just afraid to get back
on the horse.

979
00:47:22,211 --> 00:47:24,111
Lucy, it's like riding a bike.

980
00:47:24,145 --> 00:47:27,678
Or maybe a pogo stick.

981
00:47:27,711 --> 00:47:29,845
I'm just freaking out
because in my effort to be

982
00:47:29,879 --> 00:47:33,879
supremely empowered I insisted
on planning the date.

983
00:47:33,912 --> 00:47:37,177
And I've got nothing.

984
00:47:37,210 --> 00:47:40,377
Well, if you're interested,
Stan got us two tickets

985
00:47:40,411 --> 00:47:42,878
to the Dr. Becker taping
on Saturday night.

986
00:47:42,911 --> 00:47:44,210
VIP seats.

987
00:47:44,244 --> 00:47:45,544
Which is...?

988
00:47:45,578 --> 00:47:47,712
She's a sex expert.

989
00:47:47,745 --> 00:47:49,544
I showed Stan the list.

990
00:47:49,578 --> 00:47:51,344
He got very inspired.

991
00:47:51,377 --> 00:47:53,578
Anyway, if I promised to make it
worth his while

992
00:47:53,611 --> 00:47:57,277
I'm sure I can get him
to stay at home.

993
00:47:57,311 --> 00:48:01,311
Ok, if I promise to take
the tickets

994
00:48:01,344 --> 00:48:03,110
do you promise to never talk
about you and Stan

995
00:48:03,144 --> 00:48:05,778
sexually communicating
ever again?

996
00:48:05,811 --> 00:48:06,510
Deal.

997
00:48:06,543 --> 00:48:07,443
Ok.

998
00:48:07,476 --> 00:48:08,577
Can I just tell you one thing?

999
00:48:08,610 --> 00:48:09,376
Alright, yes.

1000
00:48:09,410 --> 00:48:11,144
I'm gonna get my labia
tightened.

1001
00:48:19,276 --> 00:48:22,109
What do you think about
oyster shooters?

1002
00:48:22,143 --> 00:48:27,176
Mmm, aren't oysters more
of a third date kind of food?

1003
00:48:27,209 --> 00:48:29,510
Yes, good point.

1004
00:48:29,543 --> 00:48:31,310
It's not like you're taking me
to a sex show.

1005
00:48:31,343 --> 00:48:34,109
Lecture by a progressive,

1006
00:48:34,143 --> 00:48:36,743
world renowned researcher
who went to Yale.

1007
00:48:36,777 --> 00:48:40,310
Which is definitely
not Harvard.

1008
00:48:40,343 --> 00:48:42,443
But she happens to be discussing
human sexuality and I-

1009
00:48:42,476 --> 00:48:45,343
I know, I know, consult
an expert is on your list.

1010
00:48:45,376 --> 00:48:47,143
I'm messing with you.

1011
00:48:47,176 --> 00:48:50,376
And just because we're going
to a lecture like this

1012
00:48:50,409 --> 00:48:53,409
doesn't make me a sure thing,
you know.

1013
00:48:53,442 --> 00:48:54,877
Me neither.

1014
00:48:54,910 --> 00:48:56,509
Good.

1015
00:48:56,542 --> 00:48:59,810
Wouldn't want you getting
the wrong idea.

1016
00:48:59,843 --> 00:49:02,609
What idea might that be?

1017
00:49:02,643 --> 00:49:05,576
I don't know, I just wouldn't
want you misinterpreting

1018
00:49:05,609 --> 00:49:11,843
my list, 'cause I'm really
not that kind of girl.

1019
00:49:11,877 --> 00:49:15,309
And what kind of girl
are you?

1020
00:49:15,342 --> 00:49:19,442
That's for me to know
and for you to wonder.

1021
00:49:22,677 --> 00:49:24,776
Ok, well now I'm gonna ask you
a bunch of things

1022
00:49:24,809 --> 00:49:27,342
so I can make a meaningful
snap judgement about you

1023
00:49:27,375 --> 00:49:28,342
without being distracted

1024
00:49:28,375 --> 00:49:32,508
by all your charming,
attractive... you-ness.

1025
00:49:32,541 --> 00:49:35,108
Is this where you ask me
for my tax return?

1026
00:49:35,142 --> 00:49:36,609
'Cause I didn't bring it.

1027
00:49:36,642 --> 00:49:38,842
Uh, no.

1028
00:49:38,876 --> 00:49:41,609
I was just gonna ask you what
your favourite book was.

1029
00:49:41,642 --> 00:49:43,208
Um, sorry.

1030
00:49:43,242 --> 00:49:45,408
My last girlfriend did that
on the first date.

1031
00:49:45,441 --> 00:49:49,274
And you still ended up
dating her?

1032
00:49:49,308 --> 00:49:50,809
Oh.

1033
00:49:50,842 --> 00:49:51,876
Alright, yeah.

1034
00:49:51,909 --> 00:49:54,441
Your last girlfriend must have
been a supermodel.

1035
00:49:54,474 --> 00:49:56,776
She was a model, yes,
but super, no.

1036
00:49:56,809 --> 00:49:57,709
Definitely not.

1037
00:49:57,742 --> 00:49:59,274
And she's certainly not
Harvard material.

1038
00:49:59,308 --> 00:50:01,174
Ah.

1039
00:50:01,207 --> 00:50:05,308
Well, as an artist, I do not
require financial documentation.

1040
00:50:05,341 --> 00:50:07,241
Being well kept doesn't really
apply to me.

1041
00:50:07,274 --> 00:50:10,174
And yet you seem to be
kept very well.

1042
00:50:12,641 --> 00:50:13,576
That is corny.

1043
00:50:15,274 --> 00:50:17,107
Uh, let's do the books.

1044
00:50:17,141 --> 00:50:18,141
I have two.

1045
00:50:18,174 --> 00:50:19,174
I also have two favourites.

1046
00:50:19,207 --> 00:50:19,875
Ladies first.

1047
00:50:19,908 --> 00:50:20,775
Nope.

1048
00:50:20,808 --> 00:50:21,341
Huh?

1049
00:50:21,374 --> 00:50:23,207
No. I asked you first.

1050
00:50:23,241 --> 00:50:25,274
Revealing book love is
a very personal thing.

1051
00:50:25,308 --> 00:50:26,274
I know.

1052
00:50:26,308 --> 00:50:30,107
That's why it's my stock first
date question.

1053
00:50:30,141 --> 00:50:33,273
It's gonna tell me everything
I need to know about you.

1054
00:50:33,307 --> 00:50:35,741
Are you sure you wanna know?

1055
00:50:35,775 --> 00:50:37,708
Yeah, you're right.

1056
00:50:37,741 --> 00:50:40,473
It could be the end of something
good before it even starts.

1057
00:50:40,507 --> 00:50:43,708
Or it could be the start of
something good that doesn't end.

1058
00:50:45,675 --> 00:50:47,340
What the hell's
in this drink?

1059
00:50:49,741 --> 00:50:50,741
Ok, alright.

1060
00:50:50,775 --> 00:50:52,407
Let's just state our books.

1061
00:50:52,440 --> 00:50:53,273
Yep.

1062
00:50:53,307 --> 00:50:55,140
And let's get this ship
to sinking, ok?

1063
00:50:55,173 --> 00:50:56,240
Please.

1064
00:50:56,273 --> 00:50:57,106
Alright.

1065
00:50:57,140 --> 00:50:58,106
Yeah. At the same time,
count of three?

1066
00:50:58,140 --> 00:50:58,541
Yes.

1067
00:50:58,575 --> 00:50:59,173
Alright.

1068
00:50:59,206 --> 00:50:59,740
Ok.

1069
00:50:59,774 --> 00:51:01,574
One, two, three.

1070
00:51:01,607 --> 00:51:02,640
"Everything That Rises
Must Converge",

1071
00:51:02,674 --> 00:51:03,874
and "The Story of Your Life."

1072
00:51:03,907 --> 00:51:04,807
"The Story of Your Life"

1073
00:51:04,840 --> 00:51:07,439
and "Everything That Rises
Must Converge".

1074
00:51:08,307 --> 00:51:10,106
Well, you like them in
the wrong order.

1075
00:51:10,140 --> 00:51:12,106
Yeah. It's definitely
not gonna work.

1076
00:51:22,774 --> 00:51:24,640
This is the Dr. Becker show?

1077
00:51:24,674 --> 00:51:26,205
Yeah. Hi, welcome.

1078
00:51:26,239 --> 00:51:27,372
Hi.

1079
00:51:27,406 --> 00:51:31,740
Oh, uh, will Dr. Becker
be out soon?

1080
00:51:31,774 --> 00:51:34,239
That is Dr. Becker.

1081
00:51:34,272 --> 00:51:35,105
Alright, let's get everybody
in their seats now-

1082
00:51:35,139 --> 00:51:39,239
Wait, she's a Magna Cum
Laude Yale PhD?

1083
00:51:39,272 --> 00:51:40,640
Follow me.

1084
00:51:40,674 --> 00:51:42,739
Alright, ladies and gentlemen,
please take your seats.

1085
00:51:42,773 --> 00:51:44,806
The show is about to start.

1086
00:51:44,839 --> 00:51:49,272
Dr. Becker, you're on
in three, two...

1087
00:51:51,139 --> 00:51:53,139
Ok.

1088
00:51:53,172 --> 00:51:55,239
I am so sorry.
I had no idea-

1089
00:51:55,272 --> 00:51:56,339
Are you kidding me?

1090
00:51:56,372 --> 00:51:59,606
This is the most interesting
date I have ever gone on

1091
00:51:59,639 --> 00:52:00,639
in my entire life.

1092
00:52:00,673 --> 00:52:01,639
Welcome.

1093
00:52:01,673 --> 00:52:06,171
Tonight's guest is both
a true pleasure to have

1094
00:52:06,204 --> 00:52:09,472
and a departure from my usual
science-based approach

1095
00:52:09,506 --> 00:52:11,806
to sexual enlightenment.

1096
00:52:11,839 --> 00:52:14,606
Science was nothing like
this where I went to school.

1097
00:52:14,639 --> 00:52:15,873
Really?

1098
00:52:15,906 --> 00:52:18,138
I thought boarding schools were
known for sexual enlightenment.

1099
00:52:18,171 --> 00:52:21,104
<i>Please help me welcome
Madam Swarovska,</i>

1100
00:52:21,138 --> 00:52:23,238
world-renowned sexual psychic.

1101
00:52:25,138 --> 00:52:26,039
What's a sexual psychic?

1102
00:52:26,071 --> 00:52:28,338
Someone who can do
the pull and pray method

1103
00:52:28,371 --> 00:52:30,238
of birth control?

1104
00:52:31,638 --> 00:52:32,638
You snorted.

1105
00:52:32,672 --> 00:52:33,872
Ok, I'm leaving.

1106
00:52:33,905 --> 00:52:35,838
That one.

1107
00:52:35,872 --> 00:52:37,305
She suffers.

1108
00:52:37,338 --> 00:52:38,338
Oh?

1109
00:52:43,138 --> 00:52:44,370
Oh.

1110
00:52:44,405 --> 00:52:45,638
Madame Swarovska,

1111
00:52:45,672 --> 00:52:48,304
can you explain to our audience
what it is that you're doing?

1112
00:52:48,337 --> 00:52:49,872
And me, would be nice.

1113
00:52:49,905 --> 00:52:53,337
I am assessing the aura.

1114
00:52:53,370 --> 00:52:57,137
Seeing what colours
surround her.

1115
00:52:57,170 --> 00:52:59,270
Sounds lovely.
Thank you.

1116
00:52:59,304 --> 00:53:02,572
For most people, yes.
For you, no.

1117
00:53:02,605 --> 00:53:05,337
For you, is grey.

1118
00:53:05,370 --> 00:53:06,738
Grey?

1119
00:53:06,772 --> 00:53:08,837
Are you saying that
she's sexually...

1120
00:53:08,871 --> 00:53:10,137
Grey!

1121
00:53:10,170 --> 00:53:11,605
Yes.

1122
00:53:11,638 --> 00:53:16,103
Well, lucky for me
neutrals are in for fall.

1123
00:53:16,137 --> 00:53:18,103
You know, we can go
like five minutes ago.

1124
00:53:18,137 --> 00:53:19,137
No, no, this is awesome.

1125
00:53:19,170 --> 00:53:20,004
This is great.

1126
00:53:20,038 --> 00:53:22,137
How about we get you on
stage, Miss...?

1127
00:53:22,170 --> 00:53:23,571
Uh, Lu...

1128
00:53:24,871 --> 00:53:26,405
Lulu-bell.

1129
00:53:27,437 --> 00:53:29,871
<i>Well, come on up
here, Lulu-bell,</i>

1130
00:53:29,904 --> 00:53:32,571
so Madame Swarovska
can read you.

1131
00:53:32,604 --> 00:53:33,837
Come on.

1132
00:53:34,837 --> 00:53:36,504
You're safe.

1133
00:53:39,871 --> 00:53:45,637
Yes, the grey one is in deep
struggle with the sex.

1134
00:53:45,671 --> 00:53:47,236
I often discuss a condition

1135
00:53:47,269 --> 00:53:50,102
called sexual attention
deficit disorder.

1136
00:53:50,136 --> 00:53:51,437
SADD.

1137
00:53:51,470 --> 00:53:53,404
Sad, for short.

1138
00:53:53,437 --> 00:53:55,637
Which involves frequent
mental wanderings

1139
00:53:55,671 --> 00:53:59,202
of a non-sexual nature
during intercourse.

1140
00:53:59,236 --> 00:54:00,370
Might that be what-

1141
00:54:00,404 --> 00:54:03,803
Yes, but also lack
of experience.

1142
00:54:05,370 --> 00:54:10,670
Oh, trust me, I-I have plenty
of experience.

1143
00:54:13,370 --> 00:54:15,269
The cards say no.

1144
00:54:15,304 --> 00:54:16,570
No, I assure you.

1145
00:54:16,603 --> 00:54:18,269
I know what I'm doing.

1146
00:54:18,304 --> 00:54:19,803
The cards say no.

1147
00:54:23,169 --> 00:54:24,703
Oh, I see.

1148
00:54:24,736 --> 00:54:28,770
You are very old when
you are first having sex.

1149
00:54:28,803 --> 00:54:30,736
Surely you mean old enough.

1150
00:54:30,770 --> 00:54:32,736
No, I mean old.

1151
00:54:32,770 --> 00:54:34,403
Oh.

1152
00:54:35,101 --> 00:54:39,303
Oh, old is why you are only
having sex with four people?

1153
00:54:39,336 --> 00:54:41,135
Is that true?

1154
00:54:41,168 --> 00:54:42,570
Four?

1155
00:54:42,603 --> 00:54:43,503
No.

1156
00:54:43,536 --> 00:54:44,336
No?

1157
00:54:44,369 --> 00:54:45,002
Well, yeah.

1158
00:54:45,036 --> 00:54:46,369
But what's wrong with that?

1159
00:54:46,403 --> 00:54:48,702
Oh, one does not count.

1160
00:54:48,735 --> 00:54:55,735
It ends uh, how you say...
prematurely.

1161
00:54:59,735 --> 00:55:01,802
Oh, that one looks promising.

1162
00:55:01,835 --> 00:55:05,802
Yeah, when is upright yes,
but for you is reverse.

1163
00:55:05,835 --> 00:55:06,635
Oh.

1164
00:55:06,669 --> 00:55:08,735
Oh.

1165
00:55:08,769 --> 00:55:10,101
Grey one.

1166
00:55:10,135 --> 00:55:10,902
Yeah?

1167
00:55:10,936 --> 00:55:13,200
You're not having
the big booms?

1168
00:55:13,234 --> 00:55:15,535
What?

1169
00:55:15,569 --> 00:55:18,368
The big booms.

1170
00:55:18,402 --> 00:55:20,802
The rolling thunder.

1171
00:55:20,835 --> 00:55:23,335
The crotch magic,
you know?

1172
00:55:23,368 --> 00:55:25,368
Like, oh yeah, baby.

1173
00:55:25,402 --> 00:55:26,200
I love it!

1174
00:55:26,235 --> 00:55:27,067
You know?

1175
00:55:27,100 --> 00:55:28,769
Like, woah Nealy gets
really crazy,

1176
00:55:28,801 --> 00:55:30,167
that kind of sex.

1177
00:55:30,200 --> 00:55:32,768
Like uh, like magic time.

1178
00:55:32,801 --> 00:55:34,100
Like crotch magic.

1179
00:55:34,134 --> 00:55:35,602
Blast it off.

1180
00:55:35,635 --> 00:55:37,435
Blast up inside, you know?

1181
00:55:37,468 --> 00:55:38,834
I can't handle it anymore!

1182
00:55:38,868 --> 00:55:40,468
Like... woo!

1183
00:55:40,502 --> 00:55:41,468
This type of thing.

1184
00:55:41,502 --> 00:55:42,701
What-how you call it?

1185
00:55:42,734 --> 00:55:46,734
She sees... um,
you don't orgasm.

1186
00:55:46,768 --> 00:55:48,668
I got it. Thanks.

1187
00:55:48,701 --> 00:55:51,734
Oh, but you're giving booms
to yourself sometime,

1188
00:55:51,768 --> 00:55:52,701
that's good.

1189
00:55:52,734 --> 00:55:53,834
That's ok.

1190
00:55:53,868 --> 00:55:54,801
That's something, huh?

1191
00:55:58,134 --> 00:55:58,768
That's nice.

1192
00:55:58,801 --> 00:56:00,701
You keep that going, ok?

1193
00:56:01,467 --> 00:56:04,568
Now I'm going to see about
the one you come here with.

1194
00:56:04,601 --> 00:56:05,434
This guy over here.

1195
00:56:05,467 --> 00:56:06,301
Oh, oh.

1196
00:56:06,334 --> 00:56:07,701
Hey, now.

1197
00:56:13,367 --> 00:56:14,301
This is really lucky.

1198
00:56:14,334 --> 00:56:16,668
The devil's card in reverse
is representing

1199
00:56:16,701 --> 00:56:19,668
like breaking freedom
from restraint.

1200
00:56:19,701 --> 00:56:23,434
This guy is going to give
you the big booms!

1201
00:56:24,833 --> 00:56:26,200
Yes.

1202
00:56:27,700 --> 00:56:31,700
Isn't that amazing how accurate
the Madame is?

1203
00:56:44,833 --> 00:56:50,166
Well uh, thank you again
for a uh, revealing night.

1204
00:56:50,199 --> 00:56:54,466
Once again, she was so not right
about anything she said.

1205
00:56:54,500 --> 00:56:55,166
No.

1206
00:56:55,199 --> 00:56:55,667
By the way.

1207
00:56:55,700 --> 00:56:56,767
She's crazy.

1208
00:56:56,800 --> 00:56:58,567
She said I rocked your world
when we barely even know

1209
00:56:58,600 --> 00:57:00,633
each other, let alone have had,
you know, sex.

1210
00:57:00,667 --> 00:57:01,767
Right?

1211
00:57:01,799 --> 00:57:02,700
I know.

1212
00:57:02,733 --> 00:57:03,966
Like, what was she even saying?

1213
00:57:03,999 --> 00:57:09,366
That just me being close to you
I get like all... I don't know.

1214
00:57:09,400 --> 00:57:10,199
Sorry, no.

1215
00:57:10,233 --> 00:57:13,866
Look how in control I am
around you.

1216
00:57:13,899 --> 00:57:15,832
Right.

1217
00:57:16,866 --> 00:57:18,499
Anyway, yeah, she was wrong.

1218
00:57:18,532 --> 00:57:20,432
She was crazy wrong.

1219
00:57:20,766 --> 00:57:22,532
Who knows?

1220
00:57:25,599 --> 00:57:28,666
Anyway, twice again,
for the official record,

1221
00:57:28,699 --> 00:57:31,499
I had absolutely no idea
about tonight

1222
00:57:31,532 --> 00:57:35,299
and I am so, so, so sorry.

1223
00:57:35,332 --> 00:57:36,799
I'm really sorry.

1224
00:57:36,832 --> 00:57:38,799
I'm not.

1225
00:57:46,265 --> 00:57:47,132
Goodnight.

1226
00:57:47,165 --> 00:57:48,499
Yeah.

1227
00:57:48,532 --> 00:57:50,132
I swear you're going
to get me fired.

1228
00:57:50,165 --> 00:57:52,666
Or even worse,
assigned to awful jobs.

1229
00:57:52,698 --> 00:57:55,566
Grant's a pretty big deal
at the firm, you know.

1230
00:57:55,599 --> 00:57:58,731
And you're a big deal to us,
Paul, but this isn't about you.

1231
00:57:58,765 --> 00:58:00,265
Yet.

1232
00:58:00,299 --> 00:58:02,565
The psychic didn't
say anything positive?

1233
00:58:02,598 --> 00:58:04,399
Just that I wouldn't end
up alone.

1234
00:58:04,432 --> 00:58:07,232
Well, that could just mean
she thinks you'll get a cat.

1235
00:58:07,265 --> 00:58:08,032
What?

1236
00:58:08,065 --> 00:58:09,299
Ok, let me paint a picture
for you.

1237
00:58:09,332 --> 00:58:13,631
If Grant is the devil and not
even he can get lucky with her,

1238
00:58:13,665 --> 00:58:16,331
then perhaps poor Luce
is destined to end up

1239
00:58:16,364 --> 00:58:18,798
with a litter of cats.

1240
00:58:18,831 --> 00:58:20,398
But seriously,
let's get back on point.

1241
00:58:20,431 --> 00:58:21,665
How did you two leave things?

1242
00:58:21,698 --> 00:58:23,398
Am I gonna have to avoid him
at the office?

1243
00:58:23,431 --> 00:58:26,565
Can't hear you.
I'm shopping.

1244
00:58:26,598 --> 00:58:29,164
Luce, quick question.

1245
00:58:29,197 --> 00:58:31,398
Isn't this the section for girls
who do get kissed?

1246
00:58:31,431 --> 00:58:32,197
Hey.

1247
00:58:32,231 --> 00:58:33,331
Just so you know,

1248
00:58:33,364 --> 00:58:34,665
he said he was gonna call this
weekend to make plans.

1249
00:58:34,698 --> 00:58:35,665
And no, I'm in
the right section.

1250
00:58:35,698 --> 00:58:36,498
Mmmhmm.

1251
00:58:36,531 --> 00:58:39,797
Guys, I have to tell
you something.

1252
00:58:39,830 --> 00:58:41,864
Good god, you're not preg-
how?

1253
00:58:41,897 --> 00:58:42,697
What?

1254
00:58:42,730 --> 00:58:43,331
No.

1255
00:58:43,364 --> 00:58:44,565
The question would be who,

1256
00:58:44,597 --> 00:58:47,530
since I can't even seem to get
a guy past the front porch.

1257
00:58:47,564 --> 00:58:48,530
You know those jeans

1258
00:58:48,564 --> 00:58:52,264
that make my ass look like
a sorority girl's?

1259
00:58:53,897 --> 00:58:55,397
Here?

1260
00:58:55,430 --> 00:58:56,497
We're going to
the women's section.

1261
00:58:56,530 --> 00:58:57,864
Nope, not the women's.

1262
00:58:57,897 --> 00:58:58,730
Men's?

1263
00:58:58,764 --> 00:58:59,597
That's brilliant.

1264
00:58:59,630 --> 00:59:00,597
Right here.

1265
00:59:00,630 --> 00:59:02,430
In maternity.

1266
00:59:03,097 --> 00:59:07,664
Look, they have this stretchy
stuff that goes over the stomach

1267
00:59:07,697 --> 00:59:11,363
and just kinda smooths
everything out.

1268
00:59:13,830 --> 00:59:15,797
I know, you think
I'm pathetic.

1269
00:59:15,830 --> 00:59:16,896
No, no.

1270
00:59:16,930 --> 00:59:19,297
I'm just trying to figure out
my size in women's.

1271
00:59:35,230 --> 00:59:38,163
Who knew strings could accompany
threesome-type sex so well?

1272
00:59:38,196 --> 00:59:39,663
I say we rehearse like this
all the time.

1273
00:59:40,696 --> 00:59:42,629
I'm so surprised you're still
doing the list.

1274
00:59:42,663 --> 00:59:43,696
I'm psyched.

1275
00:59:43,729 --> 00:59:46,396
I've been labelled
sexually grey.

1276
00:59:46,429 --> 00:59:47,863
It kinda solidified the mission.

1277
00:59:47,896 --> 00:59:49,796
And I've been waiting for Grant
to call me all week

1278
00:59:49,829 --> 00:59:53,329
so I figured I might as well
just watch my 25 films.

1279
00:59:53,362 --> 00:59:54,563
Why are you waiting
for him to call?

1280
00:59:54,596 --> 00:59:58,195
Why don't you call him?

1281
00:59:58,229 --> 01:00:00,329
Anyway, so I had one of these
on when it came time

1282
01:00:00,362 --> 01:00:02,462
to practise one day, so...

1283
01:00:02,496 --> 01:00:03,396
Well, if it means anything,

1284
01:00:03,429 --> 01:00:05,663
I've never heard you play
this good, girl.

1285
01:00:05,696 --> 01:00:06,895
Don't be ridiculous.

1286
01:00:06,929 --> 01:00:11,129
A month until the Philharmonic
auditions remember us when.

1287
01:00:11,162 --> 01:00:12,162
Mmmhmm.

1288
01:00:18,195 --> 01:00:20,129
Oh my god.
It's him.

1289
01:00:20,162 --> 01:00:20,595
The best man?

1290
01:00:20,628 --> 01:00:21,662
<i>Yeah.</i>

1291
01:00:21,695 --> 01:00:22,628
Do I-what,
do I answer?

1292
01:00:22,662 --> 01:00:23,262
No!

1293
01:00:23,296 --> 01:00:25,162
No.

1294
01:00:25,195 --> 01:00:26,495
Yes.

1295
01:00:26,528 --> 01:00:28,296
I don't know.

1296
01:00:28,329 --> 01:00:29,628
Ok, answer it or I will.

1297
01:00:29,662 --> 01:00:31,461
I already suffered through
high school once.

1298
01:00:31,495 --> 01:00:32,495
Ok.

1299
01:00:33,229 --> 01:00:34,361
Ok.

1300
01:00:35,695 --> 01:00:36,728
Hey.

1301
01:00:36,762 --> 01:00:38,228
<i>Hey yourself.
It's Grant.</i>

1302
01:00:38,261 --> 01:00:39,762
<i>Listen, sorry I haven't
called you...</i>

1303
01:00:39,795 --> 01:00:41,628
"Hey"? The man of your dreams
calls and you say "hey"?

1304
01:00:41,662 --> 01:00:43,261
Shh!

1305
01:00:43,295 --> 01:00:45,128
Uh, me shush?

1306
01:00:45,161 --> 01:00:46,528
No, sorry.
Not you.

1307
01:00:46,562 --> 01:00:47,595
I'm with the quartet.

1308
01:00:47,628 --> 01:00:49,328
Rehearsing some porn!

1309
01:00:50,395 --> 01:00:51,461
Did she say you're
watching porn?

1310
01:00:51,495 --> 01:00:52,161
<i>No.</i>

1311
01:00:52,194 --> 01:00:52,795
<i>No, she did not.</i>

1312
01:00:52,827 --> 01:00:54,628
She said "horn".

1313
01:00:54,662 --> 01:00:57,361
Yeah, we're adding a French horn
to the group.

1314
01:00:57,395 --> 01:00:59,562
Ah, well, I can't help you
with that.

1315
01:00:59,595 --> 01:01:02,794
So um, you're working
on a Saturday?

1316
01:01:02,827 --> 01:01:03,661
<i>Uh, listen.</i>

1317
01:01:03,694 --> 01:01:04,794
<i>Sorry I haven't called
all week.</i>

1318
01:01:04,827 --> 01:01:06,395
<i>I've been bloody busy
in non-stop meetings and-</i>

1319
01:01:06,428 --> 01:01:07,494
He was out
of town all week.

1320
01:01:07,527 --> 01:01:08,494
That's it.

1321
01:01:08,527 --> 01:01:09,395
Woohoo!

1322
01:01:09,428 --> 01:01:10,794
Oh, thank god.

1323
01:01:10,827 --> 01:01:12,128
There it is.

1324
01:01:12,527 --> 01:01:13,460
Oh!

1325
01:01:14,895 --> 01:01:15,661
Oh, Paul, your ass.

1326
01:01:15,694 --> 01:01:16,527
Turn it down!

1327
01:01:16,561 --> 01:01:18,460
<i>Turn it down!</i>

1328
01:01:19,594 --> 01:01:21,527
Sorry, Nessa just stubbed
her toe.

1329
01:01:21,561 --> 01:01:22,460
Why me?

1330
01:01:24,594 --> 01:01:25,527
Anyway, look.

1331
01:01:25,561 --> 01:01:27,193
I know it's last minute
but I was thinking,

1332
01:01:27,227 --> 01:01:28,527
if you wanted to go out-

1333
01:01:28,561 --> 01:01:29,460
<i>I'd love to.</i>

1334
01:01:29,494 --> 01:01:31,494
Yes. Whatever it is.

1335
01:01:31,527 --> 01:01:32,394
So sorry!

1336
01:01:33,627 --> 01:01:35,494
Not sorry.

1337
01:02:15,593 --> 01:02:16,593
Ok. Ok.

1338
01:02:16,626 --> 01:02:17,660
Here we go.

1339
01:02:17,693 --> 01:02:19,226
Wait. Wait.

1340
01:02:19,259 --> 01:02:20,459
What?

1341
01:02:34,426 --> 01:02:34,860
Mmm-mmm.

1342
01:02:34,893 --> 01:02:35,393
No?

1343
01:02:35,426 --> 01:02:36,359
You want me to stop?

1344
01:02:36,393 --> 01:02:37,793
What? No. Go.

1345
01:02:37,826 --> 01:02:38,326
No?

1346
01:02:38,359 --> 01:02:40,826
As in it's a no go?

1347
01:02:40,860 --> 01:02:42,159
No. No. Keep going.

1348
01:03:27,624 --> 01:03:29,759
The perfect pants
for you two.

1349
01:03:43,224 --> 01:03:44,357
Hi.

1350
01:03:44,391 --> 01:03:45,157
Hey.

1351
01:03:45,190 --> 01:03:46,424
Sorry, I didn't mean
to wake you.

1352
01:03:46,457 --> 01:03:48,424
Um, I was just gonna...

1353
01:03:49,457 --> 01:03:51,391
Oh.

1354
01:03:51,424 --> 01:03:52,224
Ok.

1355
01:04:02,124 --> 01:04:03,291
I'll call you.

1356
01:04:04,224 --> 01:04:05,457
Yeah.

1357
01:04:19,791 --> 01:04:20,390
Oh my god.

1358
01:04:20,423 --> 01:04:21,423
No! No!

1359
01:04:21,456 --> 01:04:24,256
Grant! Wait!

1360
01:04:24,290 --> 01:04:25,323
Shit.

1361
01:04:26,356 --> 01:04:27,157
No. No.

1362
01:04:27,189 --> 01:04:28,657
Grant! Wait!

1363
01:04:29,423 --> 01:04:32,456
Grant? Grant!

1364
01:04:32,490 --> 01:04:36,189
If it's about the porn
I can quit any time!

1365
01:04:38,623 --> 01:04:39,423
What?

1366
01:04:39,456 --> 01:04:42,356
So I watch porn.
Big fucking deal.

1367
01:04:42,390 --> 01:04:43,657
As long as it's consensual.

1368
01:04:43,691 --> 01:04:45,557
No judgement.

1369
01:04:57,456 --> 01:04:59,323
Stupid.

1370
01:04:59,356 --> 01:05:01,356
Useless!

1371
01:05:02,890 --> 01:05:05,622
This tastes like crap!

1372
01:05:07,355 --> 01:05:08,422
Disgusting!

1373
01:05:08,455 --> 01:05:09,622
Ugh!

1374
01:05:09,657 --> 01:05:10,823
Don't even work!

1375
01:05:12,255 --> 01:05:13,657
Ugh!

1376
01:05:18,589 --> 01:05:20,489
God, I can't believe this.

1377
01:05:21,222 --> 01:05:22,355
And you.

1378
01:06:23,187 --> 01:06:24,755
Stupid.

1379
01:06:44,621 --> 01:06:47,721
Ugh, Phil's penthouse
is just so gorge.

1380
01:06:47,755 --> 01:06:50,220
My boyfriend and I walked in
and he was all

1381
01:06:50,253 --> 01:06:52,688
"this place owns the skyline".

1382
01:06:52,721 --> 01:06:54,420
Well, it did take us about
a year to complete

1383
01:06:54,453 --> 01:06:56,220
so you can imagine
what it cost.

1384
01:06:56,253 --> 01:06:58,086
I don't do numbers.

1385
01:06:58,120 --> 01:07:00,120
Me neither, but like how much?

1386
01:07:00,153 --> 01:07:02,186
Anyway, if you thought
the penthouse is impressive

1387
01:07:02,220 --> 01:07:05,487
you really ought to see
his place in the Hamptons.

1388
01:07:05,521 --> 01:07:07,220
I can't wait to own multiple
homes in

1389
01:07:07,253 --> 01:07:08,754
which I don't actually live.

1390
01:07:08,787 --> 01:07:11,287
My boyfriend and I
love the Hams.

1391
01:07:11,320 --> 01:07:13,253
The Hams?

1392
01:07:13,287 --> 01:07:14,453
Is that what we're calling
it now?

1393
01:07:14,487 --> 01:07:16,153
Only people who live there.

1394
01:07:16,186 --> 01:07:18,453
Or people who know people,
like my boyfriend does.

1395
01:07:18,486 --> 01:07:20,253
You guys need to meet him.

1396
01:07:20,287 --> 01:07:21,220
He'll be here in a minute.

1397
01:07:21,253 --> 01:07:22,086
Mmm.

1398
01:07:22,120 --> 01:07:23,452
You know what? I want
some more wine.

1399
01:07:23,486 --> 01:07:24,854
In fact, I'll take
an I.V. of it.

1400
01:07:24,887 --> 01:07:25,587
Noted.

1401
01:07:25,620 --> 01:07:26,452
Two I.V.'s.

1402
01:07:26,486 --> 01:07:28,754
Nessa, you've gotta slow
your roll, love.

1403
01:07:28,787 --> 01:07:31,219
Um, why are you guys here,
again?

1404
01:07:31,252 --> 01:07:33,386
Paul, he's doing
the panel thing.

1405
01:07:33,419 --> 01:07:37,787
Yeah, because he has actual
things to say.

1406
01:07:37,820 --> 01:07:39,386
Sorry.

1407
01:07:39,419 --> 01:07:42,185
Um, there is a designer
on the panel

1408
01:07:42,219 --> 01:07:45,119
and Paul wants
to ask her out.

1409
01:07:45,152 --> 01:07:47,152
He makes us act like
we're interested in him

1410
01:07:47,185 --> 01:07:49,452
so he can, like,
get girls.

1411
01:07:49,487 --> 01:07:51,786
Yeah, it's legitimizing.

1412
01:07:51,819 --> 01:07:54,085
Once I make partner I probably
won't need it.

1413
01:07:54,119 --> 01:07:55,252
He's right.

1414
01:07:55,286 --> 01:07:56,520
My boyfriend's a partner.

1415
01:07:56,554 --> 01:07:57,520
It's attractive.

1416
01:07:57,554 --> 01:07:59,819
I mean, my boyfriend's
already attractive.

1417
01:07:59,853 --> 01:08:01,085
My boyfriend.

1418
01:08:01,119 --> 01:08:02,185
My boyfriend.

1419
01:08:02,219 --> 01:08:03,085
My boyfriend.

1420
01:08:03,119 --> 01:08:03,853
My boyfriend.

1421
01:08:03,886 --> 01:08:05,185
My boyfriend.

1422
01:08:05,219 --> 01:08:06,352
My boyfriend.

1423
01:08:06,386 --> 01:08:07,486
My boyfriend.

1424
01:08:07,519 --> 01:08:08,653
My boyfriend.

1425
01:08:08,686 --> 01:08:10,085
Maybe you should get
a shirt that says

1426
01:08:10,119 --> 01:08:11,286
"I have a boyfriend"

1427
01:08:11,319 --> 01:08:14,152
and then you wouldn't have
to tell us every five seconds.

1428
01:08:14,185 --> 01:08:14,753
Ok, refill.

1429
01:08:14,786 --> 01:08:16,219
Coming right up.

1430
01:08:16,251 --> 01:08:17,619
I didn't mean to make
you jealous.

1431
01:08:17,653 --> 01:08:18,418
Of what?

1432
01:08:18,452 --> 01:08:19,418
You know what?

1433
01:08:19,452 --> 01:08:20,486
This is a good time to go.

1434
01:08:20,519 --> 01:08:21,285
I'm good.

1435
01:08:21,318 --> 01:08:23,218
Oh, there he is.

1436
01:08:31,619 --> 01:08:33,786
Ugh.

1437
01:09:22,685 --> 01:09:24,618
I'm all out of sausage.

1438
01:09:24,652 --> 01:09:28,050
I hope you brought your hot,
throbbing co-

1439
01:09:30,684 --> 01:09:33,117
What am I doing?

1440
01:10:34,116 --> 01:10:35,383
Thank you.

1441
01:10:35,416 --> 01:10:37,116
We'll be in touch.

1442
01:10:38,716 --> 01:10:40,248
It's that way.

1443
01:10:47,816 --> 01:10:49,316
<i>Hey, Priscilla, it's me.</i>

1444
01:10:49,349 --> 01:10:51,449
<i>So the audition went great.</i>

1445
01:10:51,483 --> 01:10:52,650
<i>I did it!</i>

1446
01:10:52,683 --> 01:10:55,181
<i>I finally crossed something
big off one of my lists.</i>

1447
01:10:55,215 --> 01:10:57,349
<i>Ah, I feel amazing.</i>

1448
01:11:12,383 --> 01:11:14,148
Jeff's getting married?

1449
01:11:14,181 --> 01:11:16,382
And he's inviting you?

1450
01:11:16,415 --> 01:11:18,649
And this is his idea of
a wedding invitation?

1451
01:11:18,682 --> 01:11:20,448
Talk about no taste.

1452
01:11:20,482 --> 01:11:21,615
It gets worse.

1453
01:11:21,649 --> 01:11:22,749
Don't even.

1454
01:11:22,782 --> 01:11:24,214
He wants you to play
at the wedding.

1455
01:11:24,247 --> 01:11:25,214
Us.

1456
01:11:25,248 --> 01:11:25,782
Yeah.

1457
01:11:25,815 --> 01:11:26,715
He wants the quartet.

1458
01:11:26,749 --> 01:11:28,081
Well, we're not doing that.

1459
01:11:28,114 --> 01:11:29,180
And I don't even understand,

1460
01:11:29,214 --> 01:11:30,715
why would he want you to be
there at the wedding?

1461
01:11:30,749 --> 01:11:31,949
Maybe he feels guilty.

1462
01:11:31,982 --> 01:11:35,080
I don't know, maybe he feels
like he's doing me a big favour.

1463
01:11:35,114 --> 01:11:36,214
How is this a favour?

1464
01:11:36,248 --> 01:11:37,549
The girl's family is loaded.

1465
01:11:37,582 --> 01:11:40,549
Ok, so we're absolutely
doing it.

1466
01:11:40,582 --> 01:11:42,448
But Jeff is a tool.

1467
01:11:42,482 --> 01:11:44,315
And not a sharp one.

1468
01:11:45,482 --> 01:11:46,748
Do you know, Luce, when uh,

1469
01:11:46,781 --> 01:11:50,615
when Sharon left me
for Jennifer...

1470
01:11:50,648 --> 01:11:53,282
it was more the rejection
that hurt.

1471
01:11:53,315 --> 01:11:54,681
Not necessarily her leaving.

1472
01:11:54,714 --> 01:11:57,514
Honestly, I don't really care
about Jeff leaving.

1473
01:11:57,548 --> 01:11:58,781
And who wants to have
super lame sex

1474
01:11:58,814 --> 01:12:00,548
the rest of their life, anyway?

1475
01:12:00,581 --> 01:12:01,648
Uh, I do.

1476
01:12:01,681 --> 01:12:05,814
Lame sex, virtual sex,
the faint possibility of sex,

1477
01:12:05,848 --> 01:12:07,848
any of which would be more
than I'm currently getting.

1478
01:12:07,881 --> 01:12:09,681
I can't even get my hand
to have sex with me anymore.

1479
01:12:09,714 --> 01:12:12,147
Yeah, well, maybe if you dressed
up your hand like a redhead

1480
01:12:12,179 --> 01:12:14,681
who cooks, loves musicals,
and has a PhD...

1481
01:12:14,714 --> 01:12:16,748
I'm sad to report
that my standards

1482
01:12:16,781 --> 01:12:18,781
have dropped somewhat
significantly.

1483
01:12:18,814 --> 01:12:19,614
Oh yeah?

1484
01:12:19,648 --> 01:12:21,146
Well, what is your type
these days?

1485
01:12:21,179 --> 01:12:22,648
Willing.

1486
01:12:23,781 --> 01:12:24,648
And I've got to go to Vegas
for a bachelor party.

1487
01:12:24,681 --> 01:12:27,314
I swear, all those boobs
I can't touch

1488
01:12:27,347 --> 01:12:28,781
might just be the end of me.

1489
01:12:28,813 --> 01:12:30,748
Yeah, I'm pretty sure
no one over the age of two

1490
01:12:30,780 --> 01:12:33,713
has ever died
from lack of boob.

1491
01:12:33,747 --> 01:12:34,548
That's a valid point.

1492
01:12:34,581 --> 01:12:36,813
Wait a second,
when are you leaving?

1493
01:12:36,847 --> 01:12:37,713
For Vegas?

1494
01:12:37,747 --> 01:12:38,713
Yeah.

1495
01:12:38,747 --> 01:12:40,780
Tomorrow, why?

1496
01:12:40,813 --> 01:12:42,414
Because I need to finish
my list

1497
01:12:42,447 --> 01:12:43,747
and there's this Vegas thing
on there.

1498
01:12:43,780 --> 01:12:45,713
No, no, no, you need
to finish it

1499
01:12:45,747 --> 01:12:47,113
because Jeff's getting married.

1500
01:12:47,146 --> 01:12:48,079
No, I-

1501
01:12:48,113 --> 01:12:49,314
Besides, Grant's
gonna be there.

1502
01:12:49,347 --> 01:12:50,713
I don't care if Grant's
gonna be there.

1503
01:12:50,747 --> 01:12:53,214
I just need to finish my list,
alright?

1504
01:12:53,247 --> 01:12:55,413
And you're gonna help me.

1505
01:12:55,446 --> 01:12:56,446
So just embarrassing me

1506
01:12:56,480 --> 01:12:58,580
at the strip club wasn't enough
for you, was it?

1507
01:12:58,613 --> 01:12:59,780
This'll be so much better.

1508
01:12:59,813 --> 01:13:00,613
Will it be, though?

1509
01:13:00,647 --> 01:13:01,647
Yeah.

1510
01:13:02,513 --> 01:13:04,346
Could I get more needles
in here, please?

1511
01:13:04,380 --> 01:13:05,680
Tensing up!

1512
01:13:41,746 --> 01:13:43,412
You need to have sex.

1513
01:13:43,445 --> 01:13:45,245
And I have to finish
my list.

1514
01:13:45,279 --> 01:13:46,712
So it's a win-win.

1515
01:13:46,746 --> 01:13:47,879
Um, for losers.

1516
01:13:47,913 --> 01:13:50,612
So I'm not sure we come out
on the right side of this.

1517
01:13:50,646 --> 01:13:51,779
Ok.

1518
01:13:51,812 --> 01:13:54,379
Here is who's working today.

1519
01:13:56,445 --> 01:13:57,345
Nope.

1520
01:13:57,379 --> 01:13:58,379
Can't do it.

1521
01:13:58,412 --> 01:13:59,077
Do you know what?

1522
01:13:59,112 --> 01:14:00,312
They're probably all diseased.

1523
01:14:00,345 --> 01:14:02,379
No, you're more likely to catch
something in a sorority house.

1524
01:14:02,412 --> 01:14:03,612
See?

1525
01:14:03,646 --> 01:14:06,212
Here is a whole information
sheet about their weekly tests,

1526
01:14:06,245 --> 01:14:08,178
how they check each customer
for symptoms,

1527
01:14:08,212 --> 01:14:11,645
and clean everyone's genitals
with anti-bacterial-

1528
01:14:11,678 --> 01:14:13,312
How about we don't use
the word "genitals"?

1529
01:14:13,345 --> 01:14:14,845
Will you please just go
in there and do the deed

1530
01:14:14,878 --> 01:14:16,078
so you can report back?

1531
01:14:16,112 --> 01:14:18,112
Why don't you just go inside
and do the deed and report back?

1532
01:14:18,145 --> 01:14:20,078
Because they don't service
lesbians or straight girls

1533
01:14:20,112 --> 01:14:21,444
who like sex with women.

1534
01:14:21,478 --> 01:14:23,645
How do you know they
don't service women?

1535
01:14:23,678 --> 01:14:26,444
Oh my god, you called
and asked for yourself.

1536
01:14:26,478 --> 01:14:29,078
Wow, you really have
turned over a new leaf.

1537
01:14:29,112 --> 01:14:32,478
Look, you buy women
nice dinners all the time

1538
01:14:32,511 --> 01:14:33,745
hoping to get sex out of it,
correct?

1539
01:14:33,778 --> 01:14:35,511
What?

1540
01:14:35,545 --> 01:14:36,611
Pfff.

1541
01:14:38,611 --> 01:14:39,278
I- I do.

1542
01:14:39,311 --> 01:14:40,478
Yeah.

1543
01:14:40,511 --> 01:14:43,645
So that's just a more honest
side of the exact same coin,

1544
01:14:43,678 --> 01:14:46,378
and it's perfectly natural.

1545
01:14:47,378 --> 01:14:49,511
I'm not going in there alone.

1546
01:14:49,545 --> 01:14:52,177
Well, great, let's get
in there.

1547
01:14:52,211 --> 01:14:54,545
Wow. Called my bluff.

1548
01:14:56,877 --> 01:14:58,810
Oh boy, this is happening.

1549
01:15:01,244 --> 01:15:02,744
Hey, sweetheart.

1550
01:15:02,777 --> 01:15:04,344
You worry too much.

1551
01:15:04,378 --> 01:15:07,177
I told you there'd be other
normal people here.

1552
01:15:07,211 --> 01:15:08,311
Howdy, fellas.

1553
01:15:08,344 --> 01:15:10,077
How y'all doin' today?

1554
01:15:10,111 --> 01:15:12,777
We're here to get her some,
if you know what I mean.

1555
01:15:12,810 --> 01:15:15,277
Ain't that right,
honey bunch?

1556
01:15:15,310 --> 01:15:17,677
It's a perfectly natural thing.

1557
01:15:17,710 --> 01:15:20,077
What dialect is that?

1558
01:15:20,110 --> 01:15:21,243
Is it not southern?

1559
01:15:21,277 --> 01:15:22,610
Not at all.

1560
01:15:22,644 --> 01:15:24,810
And just to be clear,
this is already not worth it.

1561
01:15:24,844 --> 01:15:27,610
Just so we are clear, am I to
share your girl or get my own?

1562
01:15:27,644 --> 01:15:30,544
I mean, we've not really worked
out any of the details here.

1563
01:15:32,210 --> 01:15:33,310
Oh.

1564
01:15:34,876 --> 01:15:36,243
Interesting.

1565
01:15:36,809 --> 01:15:39,809
Ladies? Please say hello.

1566
01:15:40,709 --> 01:15:43,577
Just like that, here they come,
down the staircase.

1567
01:15:43,609 --> 01:15:45,676
Oh, that's a nice dress.

1568
01:15:46,643 --> 01:15:48,043
Thank you.

1569
01:15:48,509 --> 01:15:50,110
I need to go to the bathroom.

1570
01:15:50,143 --> 01:15:53,310
Uh... I can't do this.

1571
01:15:53,343 --> 01:15:54,476
I'm so, so sorry.

1572
01:15:54,509 --> 01:15:55,509
May I squeeze through?

1573
01:15:55,543 --> 01:15:57,576
Good luck.

1574
01:15:58,276 --> 01:16:00,409
What happened to your boyfriend?

1575
01:16:00,442 --> 01:16:02,609
Oh, no, he's not
my boyfriend.

1576
01:16:02,643 --> 01:16:06,576
He's more of a colleague.

1577
01:16:06,609 --> 01:16:08,509
Excuse me, doll?

1578
01:16:08,543 --> 01:16:11,309
We don't service
single women here.

1579
01:16:11,342 --> 01:16:15,409
Actually, I want to apply
for a job.

1580
01:16:16,442 --> 01:16:17,609
As...?

1581
01:16:17,643 --> 01:16:19,609
As a... you know,

1582
01:16:19,643 --> 01:16:22,309
what they are-do.

1583
01:16:22,342 --> 01:16:23,509
Hi.

1584
01:16:23,543 --> 01:16:26,209
You want to be a working girl.

1585
01:16:26,242 --> 01:16:27,609
Yeah.

1586
01:16:34,376 --> 01:16:35,508
Wow.

1587
01:16:35,542 --> 01:16:36,808
How'd it go?

1588
01:16:36,842 --> 01:16:40,375
Well, I applied to be
one of the girls.

1589
01:16:40,408 --> 01:16:41,542
I'm sorry, what?

1590
01:16:41,575 --> 01:16:44,209
Well, I didn't get the job,
obviously.

1591
01:16:44,242 --> 01:16:45,441
So quick question.

1592
01:16:45,475 --> 01:16:46,775
When I tell the story later,

1593
01:16:46,808 --> 01:16:48,341
which do you think is going
to be better?

1594
01:16:48,375 --> 01:16:50,109
The fact that you applied
to be a prostitute

1595
01:16:50,142 --> 01:16:51,475
or that you didn't get
the job?

1596
01:16:51,508 --> 01:16:53,141
Anyway, I'm really sorry

1597
01:16:53,174 --> 01:16:54,508
that you're late for
your bachelor party.

1598
01:16:54,542 --> 01:16:55,275
No, that's alright.

1599
01:16:55,308 --> 01:16:56,208
I'll just tell them
the truth,

1600
01:16:56,241 --> 01:16:58,308
that you got hung up
at a job interview.

1601
01:16:58,341 --> 01:16:59,608
I'm just teasing.

1602
01:16:59,642 --> 01:17:01,441
They'd be lucky
to have you.

1603
01:17:01,475 --> 01:17:02,608
Thank you.

1604
01:17:18,174 --> 01:17:19,275
Here we are, huh?

1605
01:17:19,308 --> 01:17:21,707
Well, I mean, are you sure you
don't wanna come along?

1606
01:17:21,741 --> 01:17:23,574
You can always be the
entertainment package.

1607
01:17:23,607 --> 01:17:26,174
No, I'm just gonna
wander around.

1608
01:17:26,208 --> 01:17:27,009
Alright.

1609
01:17:27,041 --> 01:17:28,541
All I want right now
is a quiet bar

1610
01:17:28,574 --> 01:17:31,074
and an artfully
crafted cocktail.

1611
01:17:31,108 --> 01:17:31,674
Fair enough.

1612
01:17:31,707 --> 01:17:32,340
Have fun!

1613
01:17:32,374 --> 01:17:33,674
Alright, have a good night!

1614
01:17:35,541 --> 01:17:37,474
Woooo!

1615
01:17:41,507 --> 01:17:42,674
Yes!

1616
01:17:43,474 --> 01:17:44,674
Ooh, that's strong.

1617
01:17:44,707 --> 01:17:46,307
Let's take a picture.

1618
01:17:46,507 --> 01:17:47,807
My new friends.

1619
01:17:47,841 --> 01:17:50,340
One, two, three.

1620
01:17:52,507 --> 01:17:53,774
Alright, Vegas.

1621
01:17:53,806 --> 01:17:56,641
Welcome to karaoke night
at the Blue Saloon.

1622
01:17:56,674 --> 01:17:58,641
Up next we've got...

1623
01:18:00,706 --> 01:18:02,407
Lucy Neal.

1624
01:18:02,440 --> 01:18:03,407
Come on up.

1625
01:18:03,440 --> 01:18:04,407
What?

1626
01:18:04,440 --> 01:18:05,440
Oh, no.

1627
01:18:05,474 --> 01:18:07,207
No, I didn't sign up.

1628
01:18:07,240 --> 01:18:09,407
Well, someone put your name
in there.

1629
01:18:10,439 --> 01:18:14,107
Well... actually,
I don't sing.

1630
01:18:14,140 --> 01:18:15,373
What do you do, then?

1631
01:18:15,406 --> 01:18:19,841
Um... I'm a violinist?

1632
01:18:19,874 --> 01:18:21,439
Oh.

1633
01:18:22,740 --> 01:18:24,107
Well then why don't
you come down

1634
01:18:24,139 --> 01:18:25,073
and play some violin for us?

1635
01:18:25,106 --> 01:18:25,506
Oh, no, no, no.

1636
01:18:25,540 --> 01:18:26,172
No, I'm good.

1637
01:18:26,206 --> 01:18:27,206
Thank you.

1638
01:18:27,239 --> 01:18:28,406
Come on, there's only like
five people in here.

1639
01:18:28,439 --> 01:18:29,740
What've you got to lose?

1640
01:18:29,773 --> 01:18:31,339
Get up here, have some fun.

1641
01:18:31,841 --> 01:18:33,206
Crap.

1642
01:18:33,439 --> 01:18:34,673
Ok.

1643
01:18:36,206 --> 01:18:38,239
Not cool, guys.

1644
01:18:39,106 --> 01:18:40,339
Give it up for Lucy.

1645
01:18:43,606 --> 01:18:45,739
I play classical mostly.

1646
01:18:45,772 --> 01:18:46,606
Don't worry about it.

1647
01:18:46,639 --> 01:18:48,106
Just play along.
We're in the key of G.

1648
01:18:48,139 --> 01:18:48,639
It's an original.

1649
01:18:48,672 --> 01:18:50,106
There's your bow.

1650
01:18:52,273 --> 01:18:53,539
Are you guys ready?

1651
01:19:28,405 --> 01:19:33,138
♪ Hello my lovely baby,
I want you near, ♪

1652
01:19:33,171 --> 01:19:35,338
♪ I see you walking
through my door, ♪

1653
01:19:35,372 --> 01:19:36,839
♪ And it is clear, ♪

1654
01:19:36,872 --> 01:19:41,405
♪ I need you more and more,
don't I? ♪

1655
01:19:41,438 --> 01:19:45,437
♪ I want you more and more
in my life, ♪

1656
01:19:45,471 --> 01:19:48,772
♪ So hey, come on in, ♪

1657
01:20:05,404 --> 01:20:07,271
♪ Wake me up, baby, ♪

1658
01:20:07,304 --> 01:20:10,304
♪ I feel I'm getting cold, ♪

1659
01:20:14,237 --> 01:20:16,371
♪ Wake me up, baby, ♪

1660
01:20:16,404 --> 01:20:19,504
♪ I feel my heart
in my soul, ♪

1661
01:20:21,738 --> 01:20:23,070
♪ Yeah, yeah, ♪

1662
01:20:23,104 --> 01:20:24,838
♪ Wake me up, baby, ♪

1663
01:20:24,871 --> 01:20:27,404
♪ Wake me up in my soul, ♪

1664
01:20:31,271 --> 01:20:33,436
♪ Wake me up baby, ♪

1665
01:20:33,470 --> 01:20:36,436
♪ I feel my heart's
getting cold, ♪

1666
01:20:36,470 --> 01:20:37,503
♪ I don't wanna get cold, ♪

1667
01:20:37,537 --> 01:20:38,470
♪ Now, warm me up, ♪

1668
01:20:38,503 --> 01:20:40,637
♪ warm me up,
warm me up, ♪

1669
01:20:42,503 --> 01:20:46,603
♪ And I am fallin' fallin'
fallin' for you so I, ♪

1670
01:20:46,637 --> 01:20:48,670
♪ Realize I that
I am old and, ♪

1671
01:20:48,704 --> 01:20:53,169
♪ Suddenly it seems
everyone has left me, ♪

1672
01:20:53,203 --> 01:20:56,203
♪ Suddenly as it seems
as the future's ♪

1673
01:20:56,236 --> 01:20:59,236
♪ right in front of me ♪

1674
01:21:02,270 --> 01:21:02,770
Yeah!

1675
01:21:02,803 --> 01:21:04,069
Alright, Lucy!

1676
01:21:05,336 --> 01:21:07,069
Yeah.

1677
01:21:07,103 --> 01:21:09,270
Well done.

1678
01:21:09,303 --> 01:21:11,370
<i>Alright, let's see
who's up next.</i>

1679
01:21:11,403 --> 01:21:14,069
<i>Anyone else have any
hidden talents out there?</i>

1680
01:21:16,403 --> 01:21:17,703
What're you doing here?

1681
01:21:17,737 --> 01:21:21,402
Shouldn't you be at the bachelor
party with Paul?

1682
01:21:21,435 --> 01:21:24,203
Paul showed me the picture
you texted him

1683
01:21:24,236 --> 01:21:27,469
of you and the posse
of Harvard boys.

1684
01:21:27,502 --> 01:21:28,670
I recognized the bar so-

1685
01:21:28,703 --> 01:21:29,402
What, so you-

1686
01:21:29,435 --> 01:21:31,302
Thought I'd come looking
for you.

1687
01:21:31,335 --> 01:21:33,803
Please tell me you've got
better than that.

1688
01:21:37,569 --> 01:21:39,502
How about I tell you how sorry
I am that I fell off

1689
01:21:39,536 --> 01:21:41,569
the face of the earth?

1690
01:21:43,269 --> 01:21:44,536
I was an idiot.

1691
01:21:44,569 --> 01:21:47,302
Why didn't you call?

1692
01:21:47,335 --> 01:21:49,536
A bunch of reasons.

1693
01:21:49,569 --> 01:21:51,335
None of them good.

1694
01:21:53,168 --> 01:21:54,235
Ok, look.

1695
01:21:54,269 --> 01:21:55,669
This has been fun and thank you
for whatever this is

1696
01:21:55,702 --> 01:21:56,369
but I am not-

1697
01:21:56,402 --> 01:21:57,435
But-but wait.

1698
01:21:57,469 --> 01:22:00,302
Can I just have one second?

1699
01:22:00,335 --> 01:22:04,535
Meeting you was
a big surprise.

1700
01:22:04,568 --> 01:22:09,368
And then I realized how much
I really liked you.

1701
01:22:09,401 --> 01:22:10,401
But then I-I just-

1702
01:22:10,434 --> 01:22:13,234
Decided to show your
considerable appreciation

1703
01:22:13,268 --> 01:22:17,201
by sleeping with me
and then running out?

1704
01:22:17,234 --> 01:22:19,669
It's just-it's a scary
proposition.

1705
01:22:19,702 --> 01:22:20,535
What's scary?

1706
01:22:20,568 --> 01:22:21,101
I'm scary?

1707
01:22:21,134 --> 01:22:24,101
What is scary about me?

1708
01:22:27,368 --> 01:22:32,167
For starters, you're
obsessed with sex.

1709
01:22:36,768 --> 01:22:42,468
Look, you came around
at a really weird time.

1710
01:22:42,501 --> 01:22:44,534
And I know the list is bizarre

1711
01:22:44,568 --> 01:22:48,201
but I've got something
important to prove.

1712
01:22:48,234 --> 01:22:49,401
Prove what? To who?

1713
01:22:49,433 --> 01:22:51,201
To myself.

1714
01:22:53,868 --> 01:23:00,433
I guess... I need to prove
to myself that I'm enough.

1715
01:23:09,300 --> 01:23:11,467
Leaving like that
was a mistake.

1716
01:23:11,500 --> 01:23:14,801
Not calling you
was a mistake.

1717
01:23:14,835 --> 01:23:17,768
Will you please forgive me?

1718
01:23:35,367 --> 01:23:36,534
Sorry.

1719
01:23:41,800 --> 01:23:42,266
Woah, woah, woah.

1720
01:23:42,299 --> 01:23:43,266
Wait. Wait. Stop.

1721
01:23:43,299 --> 01:23:44,001
Stop?

1722
01:23:44,033 --> 01:23:46,266
I don't wanna hurt
the baby.

1723
01:23:46,299 --> 01:23:47,834
What?

1724
01:23:47,867 --> 01:23:52,132
Um... I'm not pregnant.

1725
01:23:52,165 --> 01:23:53,432
I beg your pardon?

1726
01:23:53,466 --> 01:23:54,165
Wait-

1727
01:23:54,199 --> 01:23:55,266
You're not?

1728
01:23:55,299 --> 01:23:57,800
I know-I know
I've been emotional

1729
01:23:57,834 --> 01:24:00,567
and like I'm craving some weird
stuff, but oh my-oh my god,

1730
01:24:00,600 --> 01:24:01,199
do I look pregnant?

1731
01:24:01,232 --> 01:24:02,165
No, no, no.

1732
01:24:02,199 --> 01:24:02,966
You're not emotional.

1733
01:24:03,000 --> 01:24:04,232
You look stunning
and beautiful.

1734
01:24:04,266 --> 01:24:10,266
It's uh, at your house you had
maternity pants on the chair.

1735
01:24:10,299 --> 01:24:12,766
Honestly, I saw the pants
and I freaked out

1736
01:24:12,799 --> 01:24:15,065
and that's why I left.

1737
01:24:15,099 --> 01:24:17,232
Oh my god.

1738
01:24:17,266 --> 01:24:19,232
What?

1739
01:24:19,266 --> 01:24:20,199
Oh my god.

1740
01:24:20,232 --> 01:24:23,733
You left because you thought
I was pregnant?

1741
01:24:23,766 --> 01:24:25,232
It's a scary proposition.

1742
01:24:30,298 --> 01:24:31,431
Wow.

1743
01:24:34,599 --> 01:24:36,098
Wait.

1744
01:24:37,198 --> 01:24:40,566
You thought that and you
still wanted to be with me.

1745
01:24:50,466 --> 01:24:51,832
We like the same books.

1746
01:24:51,865 --> 01:24:53,331
Mmm.

1747
01:24:53,365 --> 01:24:55,131
Not in the same order.

1748
01:24:55,164 --> 01:24:56,231
You're right.

1749
01:24:56,265 --> 01:24:58,398
It's never gonna work.

1750
01:25:25,097 --> 01:25:26,063
<i>Luce, it's Paul.</i>

1751
01:25:26,097 --> 01:25:26,765
<i>You're never gonna believe this.</i>

1752
01:25:26,798 --> 01:25:27,865
<i>I've met the girl of my dreams.</i>

1753
01:25:27,899 --> 01:25:30,364
<i>Her name is Destiny and yes,
she is a stripper.</i>

1754
01:25:30,398 --> 01:25:32,063
<i>Let me tell you...</i>

1755
01:25:35,163 --> 01:25:36,831
<i>Hi Lucy, Howard Gregson.</i>

1756
01:25:36,864 --> 01:25:40,063
<i>Our committee loved
your audition but ultimately</i>

1757
01:25:40,097 --> 01:25:42,532
<i>decided your playing
is too expansive.</i>

1758
01:25:42,565 --> 01:25:45,264
<i>A hair uninhibited
for our conductor.</i>

1759
01:25:45,297 --> 01:25:48,097
<i>But I think your skills
are just a bit misplaced.</i>

1760
01:25:48,130 --> 01:25:50,097
<i>To that end I have an
opportunity coming up</i>

1761
01:25:50,130 --> 01:25:51,764
<i>in a couple of weeks.</i>

1762
01:26:17,464 --> 01:26:18,764
- Hey.
- Hey.

1763
01:26:18,797 --> 01:26:19,797
You all ready
for the wedding?

1764
01:26:19,831 --> 01:26:23,129
Yes, but there's something
we need to do first.

1765
01:26:30,364 --> 01:26:32,096
Wow.

1766
01:26:32,129 --> 01:26:33,796
Well, you've still got one
more thing on your list.

1767
01:26:33,830 --> 01:26:35,296
Oh.

1768
01:26:35,330 --> 01:26:36,464
Yes, I do.

1769
01:26:36,497 --> 01:26:38,062
Let's go.

1770
01:26:45,329 --> 01:26:45,863
There you go.

1771
01:26:45,897 --> 01:26:46,830
Thank you guys so much.

1772
01:26:46,863 --> 01:26:48,396
Thank you.

1773
01:26:48,429 --> 01:26:49,295
- Hi.
- Hi.

1774
01:26:49,329 --> 01:26:50,196
Hey.

1775
01:26:50,228 --> 01:26:51,262
Who can I make it out to?

1776
01:26:51,295 --> 01:26:52,162
Uh, Lucy.

1777
01:26:52,195 --> 01:26:54,096
Yeah, she's a big fan.

1778
01:26:54,128 --> 01:26:56,128
Um, how do I spell that?

1779
01:26:57,830 --> 01:27:00,730
Actually, there's a much
bigger fan

1780
01:27:00,763 --> 01:27:03,496
that you should make this
out to.

1781
01:27:05,830 --> 01:27:09,195
I mean, this is just so Jeff.

1782
01:27:10,696 --> 01:27:11,795
Care to dance?

1783
01:27:11,829 --> 01:27:14,028
Yes, I would love to.

1784
01:27:33,362 --> 01:27:35,328
Ok, Stan.

1785
01:27:35,362 --> 01:27:36,762
Woo!

1786
01:27:36,795 --> 01:27:37,362
Hey, there she is.

1787
01:27:37,395 --> 01:27:39,227
Here, come on.
Switch.

1788
01:27:39,262 --> 01:27:40,428
Oh.

1789
01:27:41,362 --> 01:27:42,595
Hey, congratulations.

1790
01:27:42,629 --> 01:27:43,328
Oh, thanks.

1791
01:27:43,362 --> 01:27:45,127
And thanks for playing
for us.

1792
01:27:45,160 --> 01:27:47,328
The force is strong
with you.

1793
01:27:50,961 --> 01:27:52,295
Mind if I...?

1794
01:27:53,328 --> 01:27:54,695
That's cool.

1795
01:27:56,395 --> 01:27:58,362
Thanks for doing this.

1796
01:27:58,395 --> 01:28:00,094
The price was right.

1797
01:28:00,127 --> 01:28:00,995
Is that the only reason?

1798
01:28:01,027 --> 01:28:05,228
No. Well, maybe.
Ok, yes. It was. But...

1799
01:28:05,262 --> 01:28:06,160
Ok.

1800
01:28:06,194 --> 01:28:07,728
I'm glad I did.

1801
01:28:07,761 --> 01:28:08,694
I'm glad we're good.

1802
01:28:08,728 --> 01:28:10,328
Me too.

1803
01:28:10,362 --> 01:28:11,328
Uh, I gotta ask you.

1804
01:28:11,362 --> 01:28:15,761
Um, whatever happened
to that list you had?

1805
01:28:15,794 --> 01:28:17,761
The interesting one?

1806
01:28:17,794 --> 01:28:20,628
Wait until you see the wedding
gift I got for you.

1807
01:28:37,394 --> 01:28:39,694
I can't find it.

1808
01:28:39,728 --> 01:28:43,294
That's because
it's right here.

1809
01:28:45,093 --> 01:28:48,294
And I can't wait to give it
to you.

1810
01:28:57,560 --> 01:28:58,793
I'm... married.

1811
01:28:58,827 --> 01:29:00,660
I'm-I got married.

1812
01:29:00,693 --> 01:29:03,327
I'm married today.

1813
01:29:05,827 --> 01:29:07,827
Thank you so much
for doing this.

1814
01:29:07,860 --> 01:29:09,393
What can I say?

1815
01:29:09,426 --> 01:29:10,660
I believe in love.

1816
01:29:10,693 --> 01:29:12,793
Hey, Luce, all the bridesmaids
are twerking

1817
01:29:12,827 --> 01:29:14,260
on the dance floor...

1818
01:29:14,293 --> 01:29:16,326
Hi.

1819
01:29:16,360 --> 01:29:17,226
I'm Paul.

1820
01:29:17,260 --> 01:29:19,760
I'm Honey.

1821
01:29:19,793 --> 01:29:22,693
Delighted.

1822
01:29:22,727 --> 01:29:24,193
Are you gonna ask me
to dance?

1823
01:29:24,226 --> 01:29:25,193
Yes, yes I am.

1824
01:29:25,226 --> 01:29:26,760
Right this way, please.

1825
01:29:36,125 --> 01:29:37,426
<i>Alright, ladies and gentlemen,</i>

1826
01:29:37,460 --> 01:29:40,125
<i>there's only a few songs left
so get out on the dance floor.</i>

1827
01:29:40,159 --> 01:29:43,092
<i>Let's celebrate
Jeff and Anne tonight.</i>

1828
01:29:43,125 --> 01:29:44,726
<i>Let's send them off
with style.</i>

1829
01:29:44,759 --> 01:29:48,425
<i>Don't forget to tip
your bartender.</i>

1830
01:30:04,492 --> 01:30:05,225
What?